Breathless
by Lillium-Nakano
Summary: Right then.. I felt utterly complete. My entire being revolved around her and with each second of her presence she literally left me... Breathless. YURI CHIE X AOI *COMPLETE WITH EPILOGUE!* Please R&R!
1. The Strong and the Beautiful

My first realistic fic! Because this is my first piece of fiction on this site, I want to say hello! This particular series of chapters is going to be based off of Aoi x Chie from Mai Hime. (They deserve a little more love, don't you think?) Usually I'm all about Shizuru x Natsuki but this time I decided to mix it up a bit. Also, my writing style is usually more poetic (I like to incorporate poems into the story) but this time I think it's going to be more realistic and more practical. I want to keep this story dedicated to the actual relationship, and not necessarily how the relationship happened. Anyway, onto the story!

I don't own any of the Mai Hime characters (no matter how much I'd like to) or anything merely related to the series.

Chapter 1- The Strong and the Beautiful

* * *

Let's just say that I never was suppose to fall in love. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those "My heart was broken a bazillion times and destiny has unfolded that I'm just blah blah blah." No, the truth is that I'm fine alone. Friends, love, and all the nouns in between never really phased me. My freshman year was full of acquaintances that called me their "friend", but I couldn't see them in the same light. To me, they were all gray faces in front of a black background. 

However, in my Sophomore year, everything seemed to change.

I was almost pissed at the inconsistency. I was comfortable how I was. Getting good grades, and being pretty damned good at photography, my calling, gave me plenty of choices. In the end, I was guaranteed a great career and a continuous comfortable life.

But that 10th grade year, she arrived.

I knew from middle school that I didn't like guys. I never considered myself gay, I just couldn't stand middle school boys. Or high school boys. Hell, I really didn't like any sort of male. As immature nasty little sweaty punks, they were all the same. I figured love was definitely not my thing, but when she approached me while I was reading my usual _Photographers Weekly, _with her blue skirt and tight longed sleeve shirt, it was almost as if shattered glass rang in my ears.

"Wow this is going to be really embarrassing, but well I'm lost," her nervous smile shifted onto her lips. It took me a moment to make my mouth work properly. Her legs were shaped in perfection, and I blushed knowing that my view was amazing.

"Where.. Eh, Where do you need to go?" Me. The smart ass loud mouth of the school. Couldn't form one damn sentence without tripping over her own tongue.

"English, classroom number 2-402," in her delicate hands laid a map of the school. Everyone knows those maps are at least 60 years old. The buildings on there were non-existent in modern times. I lifted myself up and stuffed my magazine into the bag. I took the map from her hands, and to her utter shock, crumbled it up and threw it over my shoulder.

"From now on I'm your map," I gave her a small wink and grinned.

"My hero," she smiled in return. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped right then and there. Against everything I currently stood for, against my own philosophy, I fell in love that day. That year was probably the best year I had yet.

We became extremely close friends after that. She was someone I could always come to, and more importantly I was someone she could count on. Her family was Japanese when it came to Nationality, but total American when it came to culture. I liked how she was different. I loved everything about her. We were never what I wanted to be, and never... well I guess the point is made. We sat together on the couch, but we were never _close_ enough make me satisfied. We slept in the same bed, but when I reached out I only felt air. Nevertheless, I was pretty content with how we were because it almost seemed like we were a couple, kind of. I had her all to myself, what more could I want?

A winter or so ago I took her to my favorite part of the gardens outside of our town. The gardens themselves were known as the biggest make out spot to all of our town's teenage population, but I don't think she knew that, so I thought it would be safe enough to take her to the most beautiful place I've ever seen, without giving any hints. Her eyes widened when we made our way out of the trees and into the clearing I made near the mini creek-like waterfall. As a photographer, I tried to capture this place as many times as I could, but I always failed at really getting the entire beauty of the place in a picture. It just seemed bland in a photo than what it was really based off of.

The trees were tall enough to block out most sunlight, but stubborn rays seeped through the cracks and filtered against her face. I let my eyes hit the ground before she noticed that I was staring. Beauty caressed this place even more now that her presence graced the surrounding air.

She lifted her head as if she were looking up at the sky, but instead she closed her eyes and allowed the sun to soak her face. My fingers itched as I held the camera that was around my neck. I couldn't resist when I brought the window of it to my eye and took only a short pause until I saw the shudder close and forever duplicate that exact moment. She heard the clicking from the camera and opened her eyes to smile at me.

"This place is beautiful." I nodded and smiled back. _Not even close to how beautiful you are._

She crouched down and allowed her fingers to dip into the creek's water. The water was darkened from her shadow, but clear in her cupped hand. She brought her lips to it, and my nose scrunched up.

"You're going to get some disease from that water," I smirked. What a lie. I didn't mind watching her do such a simple task as drinking from a creek. Call me an idiot, but even small things like that got my heart going.

"Then I guess I'll have to blame you, won't I?"

"Ha. You wouldn't have a strong enough case to convict me with," I wanted to keep the air filled with humor, or something of the sorts, to distract me as much as possible. As the sun reflected off her hair, running my fingers through it was all I could think about.

Need. To. Stop. Now.

"I would love to sketch this," she spoke softly, gazing across the area. My eyebrows perked up.

After almost a year of knowing her, I never knew she could draw. Well, I guess everyone can draw to some extent, but I never thought of her as an artist. She was too... goal orientated.She said she was going to apply for Med school, and become some sort of doctor. I assumed off the bat that that was what she wanted, and I was wrong when I learned that her real passion lied in art. She always seemed to love my photos, so I should have known.

I was so happy in those times. Everything was perfect then. However, I realized very quickly that nothing lasts forever.

Shortly after, a guy started hanging around her. That was inevitable wasn't it? She was beautiful, of course a guy would chase at her feet. She had plenty of teenage boys drool over her, but it never seemed that she took interest until he asked her to take her out to a movie one weekend. Her original plans were to come to my house and watch the latest episode of Meerkat Manor, (That was her kind of show, not mine. However, I laughed at the "Awwww they're sooooo cute!" that came from her direction every five minutes) but asked me during lunch if it was okay if she went out with him instead. I told her to not be so stupid in thinking that she needed to ask, and then grinned and said for her to have fun. I researched that night if assassins could really be hired in this day and age. How dare he think he could take her away on the weekends?

Bleh. All in all, I went to bed alone that night, my mind still filled with thoughts of her. As I slept, I sort of transported myself back to the garden's creek. Now it was so incomplete without her... I imagined her laying next to me. Next to the sound of flowing water, with the warmth of afternoon sun. Her hand gripped mine, her fingers intertwining. Her body was closer to mine, I could feel her body heat emitting from her being. Her neck stretched so that her lips became much closer to mine. Her breath brushed against my face. I reached out and allowed myself to meet her. Our lips molded together. Hers were so soft, I was lost completely in my own desire. My hands trailed beneath her shirt...

Let's say that my mind didn't let my heart wander for too long, because I jolted in an upright position very quickly. My heart pounded in my ears, and my face was hot and probably as red as the blood that rushed to my cheeks. I pressed the pillow against my head and my mind tried to blink out the entire dream itself.

My heart contradicted, and hung onto it a little longer. Regardless of what my mind had to say, there would be many more of those dreams to come.

This boy was all she wanted to talk about the next week. It seemed now they were officially going out, and on my part a thousand curses were repeated in my mind for every time I heard his name. Thankfully, he was on a different schedule of classes than ours, so I didn't see him around much. During the week, she was mine. On the weekends... Well sights of her were scarce. I was beginning to get frustrated, you could even tell that I was by my photos. Even my photography professor was telling me to see someone about my issues because, let's be honest, my photos were starting to look like royal shit.

Overall, I couldn't complain. She was happy, right? If she really liked him then, well, that was that... Did I really expect her to be single forever, satisfied with the mere friendship of a wannabe photographer?

Senior grew to be pretty harsh. The boy made sure he had the same schedule as us, and pretty soon our group of two became a group of three. I could have won an flippin' Emmy for my performance as someone who liked him. My other friends were almost scared of me now, I was constantly irritated (more than usual) and snapped pretty easily. Except around her... I was on my best behavior in front of her, making sure that in her eyes everything was picture perfect. I had to grit my teeth every time he snuck his hand around hers, and it took all my strength to hold back from slugging him when he trailed his hand down her ass in the hallway...

The only good thing that came out of him having the same schedule was that now I could have more time with her on the weekends. She started coming over on Friday or Saturday nights again, and it was almost back to normal like it was Junior year. It was complete bliss to be able to sneak peaks at her sleeping again, and to even hear her slight intakes of breath was like listening to an entire orchestra. During the week I could live as long as I could lay next to her again on the weekends. I was almost happy with the arrangement.

Towards the end of our 12th year in high school, she sent me a text message to me during our last class that stated:

"Meet me at your car after school. I want to go somewhere."

I smiled and counted down the minutes until this stupid class ended.

We met and drove off to the creek, and to be honest I was terribly excited. We haven't gone back since the first time I brought her. Before he came along.

We sat down next to the small waterfall, her eyes didn't ever meet mine. I didn't mind much, it allowed me to be able to look at her in all her beauty in a world that seemed so bland in comparison.

"You're my best friend Chie. The closest person that I could ever need. I just... I wanted you to know as soon as I knew..." I listened and hung onto every word. The air around us seemed to fall silent, I didn't hear the usual birds or the whistling of the wind.

"I guess I'm a fiancee now." My heart dropped along with my eyes. Her voice was soft, but very clear. I don't think I could ever hear that wrong. I could feel her eyes set on me. I couldn't look back at her. "He's a nice guy, isn't he?"

_I'm a good person too... I could treat you better than he could. Hell, I would treat you better than anyone ever could. Why him? Why not me? You said I was the closest person to you. WHY NOT ME? _

I nodded and told her that he seemed nice and that he could probably take care of her.

"Do you really love him?" I couldn't help but ask. Her smile was weak while she kept her eyes on the waterfall of the creek.

"Love is a mudane word. Let's head back." And with that we left.

I went home and cursed as loud as I could and as often as I could. For the first time since elementary school, I cried. Tears ran down my face, and I simply sat and stared at the picture of her at the creek. I picked it up, gazed at the image a million times over like I did before. The true beauty could never be completely captured onto an image, but it came pretty damn close.

_If you loved him, then why did you sound so sad? And if you didn't... Then why marry him?_

I was so confused. Everything was too sudden, too unbearing. I understood why I was the way I was back in Freshman year. When you don't feel love, you don't feel pain.

My name is Chie Harada. I fell in love with a best friend of mine, and for the first time in all of my life...

I really was alone.

* * *

My parents wanted to move back to where they grew up. I could get why, the schools were better for my brother and I, and overall the suburban town was a good choice. My Freshman year seemed to be a good time to move at any rate, it gave me a chance to get a fresh new start. The high school was really nice, and for my first day I wore my best skirt with a long sleeved shirt to balance out. 

Of course my luck was in tune! I got lost after the first five minutes. English? I had no idea where anything was besides the administration. It was during lunch when I looked for someone friendly in the least to give me directions. Everyone seemed to be in their own clique, and I really didn't want to go up to an entire group of people.

Then I spotted her.

She had short black hair that reached above her shoulders. Her eyes were behind black-rimmed glasses that was slacked on the bridge of her nose. She was concentrating on a magazine and had a camera draped around her neck. She seemed friendly enough. When I approached her, it looked almost as if she saw her late-dead grandmother walking up to her. Her eyes got all big and her mouth opened every so slightly. It was almost comical, now that I look back. But then, it made me as nervous as hell.

I asked her for directions, and she complied. I was extremely grateful as I followed her through the hallways.

I had a warm feeling when I looked at her after that. She was an excellent photographer, and her work really inspired my art. I started sketching again, almost right after I met her. At first I drew my classrooms, the school itself etc...

But then I mindlessly sketched her face. Her strong and bold eyes... with that soft grin.

After the weeks she started to become all I thought about. My parents were pretty worried because I kept dazing off during dinner. You could say I was confused when I kept thinking of all the guys I had crushes on. This though.. She was exciting, soft and so very hot in only a way I could see. Those other guys were so small in comparison.

I learned soon enough though that it could never work out. I personally could never let it work. I'm not a lesbian! I never was and never will be. My parents taught me better than that... didn't they? I had to divert myself from her and fast.

So of course my favorite past times, sleepovers, were starting to become a bother. I would act like I fell asleep and waited to hear her breathing slow until she was asleep herself. I'd grab my sketch book and try to capture her true essence. She seemed so much more innocent as she slept... Much more... her. That wall was down and she didn't have that tough demeanor that she clung to. It seemed like I was the only one who was allowed to see her for her, and not some clay mask that she carries with her. As I drew her lips I was so tempted to touch them... To get a feel of the texture, the softness. It's better for an artist to be able to touch their subject to get a better idea of how to draw the density or texture itself. I wanted to kiss her... I bit my lip and closed my sketchbook. I was being stupid, pathetic.

I don't love her. I can't love her.

This guy in my Social Sciences class started talking to me, and that helped distract me from daydreaming in class. He was so cute because he only wanted to have conversations with me so that he could sit next to me. However, not because he had a crush on me, I'm pretty sure it was the guy in front of me he was drooling over. I played along, letting him sit by me and being his cover up. He stared at the guy though during class, and it was so hard not to laugh. After the first ten minutes or so I was back to thinking about her.

Chie really through me the loop when she took me to the waterfall. It wasn't REALLY a waterfall, it was more of a creek that happened to go down some rocks stacked together, but overall the setting was beautiful. I wished nothing more than to have my sketchbook... I wanted to draw the setting, and to draw her in it. She stood over me smiling, her eyes were shining, obviously thinking of how funny it was to see me so amazed at the place. I bit my lip and held back the urge to stand and kiss her, with only trees and birds to witness it. I shook away my thoughts, and thankfully she broke the silence with some of her sarcastic jokes.

That night I dreamt about her and I. She was beside me, on the bank of the creek. My fingers combed through her hair and I pulled her face closer into mine. Everything was so warm, so numbingly brilliant. Her hands explored me, and I so willingly allowed her to.

I awoke from that dream that night crying. I needed to run from her, to get her out of my head.

I wanted her closer. I wanted her to touch me more. I don't think I ever wanted that dream to end.

I realized that it was getting out of control when I was shopping for a new sketchbook. Since Freshman year, this had to have been my eighth. The sad thing is about six of them were dedicated to her and the other two were dedicated to her and the creek. Oh, scratch that, I had one sketch of Dray lusting after that guy in front of me.

The bad part is when my Mom found one of my sketch books and flipped out about what was inside. There was so much screaming that I couldn't really hear myself think. My dad calmly came in and asked me about it, trying to gather up the information he could. I told him it was just a mere project, and I couldn't get the right detail. I reassured him saying that I found a boy that I think likes me, and tried to convince him that I liked the boy back. I left out the part where Dray was only talking to me because he thought I was friends with the guy in front of me. He seemed satisfied with my answer and gave me back the sketchbook. After that I made sure to hide my sketchbooks inside the box underneath all my old clothes that I never wear under my bed. If she looks there, then she's the one who really has issues.

A day or so after the incident with my parents, Dray practically stomped into our Social Sciences class in a pit of rage. His tone was almost cold when he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him over the weekend. I thought if I did so it would look good to my parents and take off some suspicion, so I agreed, although it didn't seem like he really wanted to. Later on I'd find out that he was furious after being taunted by a bunch of jocks at how "much of a fag" he was. At the time though, I was so wrapped up in proving my parents that I wasn't gay myself to really think about the reason why he would ask me. Really I think I'd rather watch Meerkat Manor (Those little meerkats are soooooo cute!) with Chie... but I started thinking that I should reconsider how much time I spent with her.

Senior year came and in order to get more public display time, Dray switched to my schedule. He finally got to meet the infamous Chie, the one he knew made my heart skip so many beats.

He even did so much as to give me a wink when we walked off, obviously agreeing with her complete awesomeness. I didn't blame him, she was everything a guy-- or well a girl desired for.

I think Dray really liked me only for the fact that I really didn't touch him much. In public we started holding hands, mostly for his benefit. To my knowledge, after that he stopped being taunted. He got real ballsy when we were passing by a few jocks to slide his hand on my ass. I was tempted to slap him and call him a stupid little fruit that needs to learn to come out and deal with it, but then I realized I'd probably be called a hippocrite in return. Him and I had a mutual understanding that was never really spoken. He knew I knew and I knew he knew, if that makes any sense. In private it was like we were just real good friends, we got along and both squeeled over Meerkat Manor. To be honest it was pretty fun, but then we'd go to bed and in the end I'd still lay there and still long for her. Sometimes I wonder if Dray did the same for that guy who sits in front of me in Social Studies.

Dray was on my schedule now and I could tell he was getting tired of the whole girlfriend thing, so I gave him breaks on the weekends telling him that I had other plans when he asked me. (He sounded so much more relieved each time I did) I dared to start spending weekends at Chie's again. It was just her and her mom, and her mom was always working anyway, so we got to spend a lot of time together uninterrupted. I cherished every minute that we had, because inside I knew sometime it had to end. Of course I fantasized about us living together, maybe even with kids. People can do that nowadays can't they? It would be so much easier if she loved me back though.

One-sided love is almost torture.

Dray got into some trouble with his parents towards the end of senior year. They found gay porn on his computer (At least my sketchbook wasn't that bad) and they put a lot of pressure on him. His dad is a minister, or something of the sorts, so I can imagine the horror it was for them to find out what they should have already known about their son. It was pretty obvious to anyone who could see him. Well, now more than ever he had to either prove himself or make the dedication that he was indeed gay. Because he was a little coward, he proposed to me. And it was gross. REAL gross.

He started off with a kiss at some fancy dinner restaurant, and the kiss wasn't even passionate at all. It didn't make music play or bells ring or any of that. Then he set the ring on the table and pretty much gave me those sad eyes. He didn't say "Would you marry me?" it was more of a:

"Can you be my fiancee?"

He wasn't asking for a union together. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life with me. He loved me as a good friend and I understood that. Right now, he was asking me of a favor.

I told him that I'd get back to him.

The next day I was overwhelmed with how much I had to think of. If I married him, my parents would get off my back too. Then again, marriage is a pretty hefty union between two people, and wouldn't our folks wanting to see kids after that? I couldn't bear to imagine him and I... Making babies. Ew. In the sense though it would just be like two best friends living together. He could bring home guys and I could bring home... well nobody. Maybe a guy. Or a girl. No, not a girl. A guy. Bleh okay maybe both who knows.

When presented with a conflict the one and only person I go to was her. I sent her a text last period telling her that I wanted to meet her at her car. The entire day my stomach was tied into knots and I felt like puking, only because I was almost considering the idea.

I told her to take me to her, no, our spot and tell her the news. The sun wasn't nearly so bright this time, but it was just as unbelievably pretty. The light reflected the water exactly right and reflected off both of us as we stood near it. I felt real nervous, my palms started to sweat and the back of my neck stood on end. I don't know if I could face her. If I said I was going to marry him, wouldn't she get the wrong idea? Nothing would ever happen between us, not that it would anyway. Ugh I don't like her. Right?

"I guess I'm a fiancee." I said it blatantly trying to hint at my true feelings. I hope she caught on... "He's a nice guy isn't he?" It was true wasn't it? We could probably be happy together. As best friends acting like a married couple. I looked to see her expression. Nothing changed, it was more like if I said that it was going to rain tomorrow. Surprising? Yeah a little. Life changing? Nah.

She nodded. It was like a slap in the face.

"Do you love him?" She asked.

I felt like screaming. I wanted to shout at her, saying everything that has accumulated over the past years.

_Can't you see how much I love you? Are you freaking blind? I want you... more than I've ever wanted anyone. Can't the news about me getting married even fucking phase you?_

I felt like crying, it was so hard to look at her. Coldly, I looked away.

"Love is such a mudane word. Let's head back." My mind was made up. I could never be with her, so might as well live the normal life every girl dreams to live. At least it would be better than having to fool a guy into thinking that I actually did love him.

Later that night I'd have to tell my parents my plans. They'd be so excited as long as I planned to marry him plenty after high school. My mom's voice filled my head. _Now be sure this young man doesn't stray you onto a different path other than your career success._ I could picture my dad having a stern face acting like he needs to give the "young man" a lesson or two about treating his daughter properly throughout my entire life. Underneath it though, I'm sure he'd smile.

Then the whole "gay scare" would be erased from their minds. They'd convince themselves that it really just was some sort of project. Perhaps once I graduate, move in with Dray, have kids, and grow old I'd forget about the girl I'd met in the halls Freshman year...

Or maybe I'd still have a heartache each time I laid down at night. Would I still picture her in my head, her small grin and reassuring eyes? Would I still long to touch her and pull her closer to me?

I dreamt again after the day at the creek. This time I reached for her and when we were about to kiss she sort of morphed into Dray. His arms wrapped around me and I tried to push him away. Thankfully, this dream didn't last as long as the others, but I'm pretty sure it was a sign of the misery ahead. I cursed in my pillow at the irony of having that dream that night.

My name is Aoi Senou and I fell in love with my hero, my knight in shining armor. Too bad my knight is a girl and I have no idea whether I should really act on my feelings or marry and let this all fade away like some distant nightmare. I thought for a real long time about how much it all meant to me, and I think I finally convinced myself to admit that I really did love her. (This was 11 sketchbooks later)

The words seemed to fit my lips so easily.

I love you, Chie.

* * *

And that's the end! Thanks for reading and please review! I love all comments whether good or bad. 


	2. The Pain of Resistance

First off I'd like to say thank you for all the wonderful reviews! Second, there seemed to be a little misconception on when I said "That's the end." Of course I plan on to keep updating! I'm still unsure of how long the fic is going to be, so I'll just keep updating until I feel it's come to it's conclusion. Anyway, time for chapter two! Don't forget to review when you're done reading! (I'm trying to get better at making their voices a lot more different than what they seemed last chapter)

Chapter 2- The Pain of Resistance

Every since I was a kid, I loved taking pictures. I got my first disposable on a family vacation, and I went insane and took pictures of just about everything. The entire world's essence was going to be able to be captured by me just with the click of a button. This of course included my foot, my dad's car keys, a random fat man, and roadkill. So, I wasn't always a great photographer. On my defense, I was only five, but the point is that I fell in love with photography. This should be a given, seeing as how my dad was a photographer himself.

About 100 disposables later, my dad finally gave me a _real_ camera instead of some 12 dollar cheap one from Wal-Mart. If I could have put my dad on a cool scale, he'd be a 100,994,345,242.2 out of 10. He started teaching me the lighting points on certain shaped objects along with positioning techniques and how to notice diffused colors. The camera itself is still with me to this day, and it's seen quite a bit.

Now I'm a pretty decent photographer myself. I have a great eye at being able to notice beautiful scenery, and I have a fast click finger, which really helps. I've taken plenty of amazing prints before of the most gorgeous sceneries, and many of them seem to stick with me forever. However, I've never been as obsessed with a mere picture until I snapped the one by the creek. With her in it.

I could understand why I was so intrigued with the picture. It was taken in such a quick amount of time, without positioning, light balance, and all that jazz, but it still withheld that intense glow that emanated from between the cracks of the trees. Her face was almost so surrealy breath taking that I almost had trouble believing that I knew her at all.

I kept the photo by my bed or carried it with me in my bag. Maybe a little stalker-ish, but to me the photograph was simply pulling me towards it. I made sure to hide it as well as possible because it'd be a pretty awkward situation if I carried her picture of her around everywhere and she found it.

The sad thing is she probably wouldn't have even gotten a chance to find it, because after she told me her news at the creek, she started to talk to me less and less. My weekends I spent alone (looking at that friggin picture) and on weekdays our conversations were mere "How's class?"'s and "They're fine. Gotta go"'s. How could she be mad at me? Only because I wasn't overly ecstatic about her new life plans? I should be the one who's pissed. Eventually we just stopped talking all together over the course of a week, and I have to say it took a huge toll on me. Hell, to make it worse my heart wanted to fuck with me a bit and supply me with each of those nights dreams about her.

Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to approach her plenty of times and try to work things out, but it's almost as if it seemed better this way. What was I going to do? Watch her walk down the isle? Be the photographer for her wedding? Yeah. And then I could stop in at her baby shower, and even babysit her kids if she needed a romantic get-away with her newfound hubby. It could never work out that way. Each time I'd look at her I'd only see her with him. With babies with him. With him... With HIM! Ugh it'd be a completely painful long years of longing for something that I could never have. Then again.. I guess I knew that from the beginning.

What really sucked was when The-Boy-That-I-Want-To-Murder got transferred into my Calculus class, and even had the balls to sit next to me each day. I started paying less attention to math and more attention to how far would I have to stab my pencil in his head to really make it hurt. Oh hey. That's a great math project! Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. Maybe.

Scratch that, because then he started actually talking to me. Not, "Man we have a lot of homework" talk, but he started chatting about HER. How's she doing. How she misses me. Oh I bet she does. Sure I could be honest and say that I stay awake and think about her and even when I do sleep my dreams revolve around her as well, but then she could file a charge against me and think I'm a freak at so many levels.

It's so clear why I didn't fall in love with anyone in the first place.

Love is hormones.

Love is powerful.

Love is fantasy.

So, because I'm paying such good attention in math, Love is merely a powerful hormonal driven fantasy. Why should I let it get to me? Wanting to touch her, or pull her closer to me. Wanting to really feel her heat, wanting to let my fingers slide down her stomach... Woah. Stupid powerful hormonal driven fantasy that is called love.

"You know, she really does miss you," the bastard said while packing his stuff before the bell rang. I was starting to get real tired of this.

"If she missed me so much, I'm sure she'd approach me. There's probably a valid reason why we don't talk and I'm going to go with what she thinks," I didn't try to make it sound so bitter, but of course it just came out that way.

She seemed fine enough without me. I saw her in hallways laughing with other friends, enjoying her final few months in high school. She would probably look at me and almost laugh. I was alone and I had nobody.

By the end of that week I got a neat surprise when my mom actually came home quite early. Her eyes were beaming at me as she clutched a letter in her hands. When she spoke, her sentence ended up choppy for some dramatical climax of what she was trying to say.

"You. Got. Accepted in. The Embry's Academy of Arts!" She bit her lip and smiled.

Oh my god. OH my god. I've been wanting to get into that school for my entire life! I tried getting in for high school but they didn't want to accept me because of our financial issues. I sort of stored the thought of going away in my mind because I figured that Mom and I could never afford it, even for college.

"What... but how can we pay for it?" My mother beamed at me.

"Let's just say I've saved up, and well Grammy and Grandpa wanted to chip in," I practically tackled her into a huge hug. You have to understand that this was a top league art school with a very progressed photography program. If I wanted to be a true photographer, I'd have to go there. I was high on adrenaline that entire night, looking at the school's website, staring at the letter of my acceptance. For a while there, a flicker of her didn't even cross my mind. Almost.

I realized there was one real clear cut problem. It's a private school and it's on an entirely different side of the country. The blood in my face drained pretty quickly and my heart sunk to a slower beat.

I could never see her again.

I tried to really think adult-like and realistic. This was my entire career that I've been dreaming of for so long, how could I even hesitate all because of one girl that I met Sophomore year? My brain was screaming how insane I was for re-thinking my plans, and my heart was screaming at how insane I was for leaving her.

Oh boy, round one commence:

_Brain: Are you kidding me? Your career is your life! You've been wanting this since you were a kid! Now that some pretty girl shows up in a tight skirt, you're going to get distracted and hesitate?_

_Heart: Oh shut up a career isn't your entire life. Yeah, photography is fun but you LOVE her. You may never feel like this for someone ever again and die a lonely cold death only because you were too scared to sit back and let things play out._

_B: Oh you really love her? Ha._

_H: Yeah._

_B: Does she love you back?_

Ding. Round 1 ended. Round victory goes to: Brain.

I stayed awake a little longer just staring at my letter. Her photo was under it, completely covered. My heart must have given up for the time being, because the strangest thing happened. My dreams were absent that night.

The next day was extremely peculiar because I felt numb. I didn't ache for her. My mind didn't wander too much. Hell, even in Calc I didn't think about ramming any sharp objects into Bastard's skull. In fact, I even started to conversate with him.

"This whole graduation thing sucks," he idlely made the comment.

"I don't know, I'm pretty excited," I said truthfully. I was. "I got accepted into Embry's."

"That fancy art academy?"

"Mhmm that's the one."

His face drooped into a frown in a quick flash.

"Isn't that all the way North?" I had to give him credit, he knew his "Never Eat Soggy Worms". I answered yes to him, and his face seemed to fall a few inches. He grew pretty silent and I was wondering what I said that made him so quiet during class. The teacher wasn't teaching, and we were just doing some busy work so why on Earth was he so not him?

Well, I really didn't mind much so I left him be. He got out of the classroom pretty darn quick after the dismissal bell.

The next day was as freezing as frozen hell. Already I could tell I was going to be in a pissy mood only because I can't bear the cold weather. My mood didn't improve when I saw Bastard hanging in front of the school. Waiting for someone.

I looked from the left and right only to find no sight of Aoi. I parked the car and reluctantly slid out with my bazillion layers of clothing on slightly slowing me down. To my dismay, Bastard started to walk towards me the moment he saw me. With dead-set serious eyes, he held out a notebook-ish thing to me.

"Rethink it over." Was all he said before he walked away with his hands stuffed in his jacket. A note was stuck onto the top of the notebook (which I then realized it was a sketchbook) that clearly stated in loopy letters:_For your eyes only, look at it in a safe place._ Curiosity was getting the better of me.

I read opened it up in one of the girl's bathroom stalls and practically almost fell into the toilet. I knew a lot of artists, because well I was sort of an artist myself. Artists who draw love to draw scenery, abstract, or even models. I swallowed hard when I saw myself reflected onto those pages. I flipped through more.

Sitting, sleeping, reading, and even nude (Damn I looked good), every page was dedicated to me. Call me dumb but I didn't get it. I was extremely confused at why a soon-to-be bride would want to draw numerous pictures of.. me.

Was this a joke? Did I miss something?

I was really anxious to get into Calc class just so I can talk to him and ask him what the hell that sketchbook meant. Pretty ironic seeing as how he's the sole reason that I currently despised mathematics of all sorts. The teacher seemed to be in a hurry somehow so we didn't have time to talk when Bastard walked in. So, of course, I did what any responsible adult would do. Wait for class to be over with the virtue of patience?

I passed him a note where "What was that all about" scribbled across the paper. He took a glance and swiftly wrote back: _you know what. pay attention to math_

Yeah as if that was going to happen. Did that really mean... I wrote him back.

_Are you sure?_

The corner of his mouth scrunched up when he read it.

_dont be stupid. stop trying to run away._

I reached into my bag and brushed my fingers against her sketchbook. I grabbed my pencil again.

_Sorry, last question, but why are you even telling me this?_

He tapped his pen against the paper a few times while he thought of a reply.

_you both deserve to be happy especially when you adore one another _

I didn't pay attention in math at all the rest of the period. All I kept thinking about was that sketchbook. I reached back into my bag and slid out the creek photo. The same sun, the same emotion, the same feeling.

It could be very possible that I wasn't the only one who wanted to get closer. The decision on whether or not to act upon that was well on me. I thought about that acceptance letter for a real long time and tried weighing it with the possibilities with Aoi.. Possibilities? What possibilities?

Let Round Two commence.

_B: You can get away with this before you get in too deep. She's fine without you, can't you see that?_

_H: You'd have to be stupid to think that she doesn't love you like you love her. You took one photo of her and she has an entire BOOK of sketches dedicated to you! Approach her and be that hero that rescued her before._

_B: What happens when you get rejected, huh? More pain. More agony. It's better to move on NOW_

_H: You'll look back on this and always wonder why the hell you didn't make your move. She's an amazing person with an amazing heart. The most you can gain is an entirely new bond between you two. Isn't that worth the risk enough?_

Ding. Round Two Victor:

Undecided.

* * *

I've never been so depressed in my life and it's really starting to take a toll on me. I haven't seen much of her in a week or so, and it's all my fault. I got used to the prospect of wearing a mask that hid what I really felt. I smiled, even when I wanted to cry. I laughed when I was ready to scream. Pretty soon I just seemed...fake. It was ridiculous to see that that much could happen to me in such a short amount of time without her.

She felt like my cocaine. When I was around her it was like I was constantly high on her motions, her scent, everything and anything about her.

Dray knew what was going on and he got pretty worried. He kept bugging me and telling me that I should be the one who approaches her, and how I should be the one to tell her how I felt. It was all so very bizarre to see the man that I was supposed to marry was encouraging me to approach some crush I had.

"She likes you too, I know she does," He said to me on our way to the mall one miserable weekend. He tried so hard to cheer me up, and desperately I wanted to be happy for him, but it just was too overwhelming.

"Why do you even care?" It came out pretty bad.

"Because you're my best friend and I love you," he didn't look at me when he said so, and his tone was sort of mellow as if he didn't really care of what the words meant. In the end, he really was a sweetheart.

After time my art got pretty shitty. The lines were always skewed, the eyes never held emotion. Even cartoons that I tried to illustrate came out all wrong.

When my parents went out for a dinner party one night I sat in my room and unconsciously started drawing her face. When it became clear what the sketch was, I felt the heat of tears flow past my chin. I hurled that freaking sketchbook across the room and just sat and cried. I felt hopeless, pathetic, and above all alone. I wanted her here to hold me... to raise my head and above all to kiss me. She needed to tell me she loved me.

Or maybe I was the one who needed to tell her that I loved her more than anything else.

Dray seemed to enjoy coming over to my house lately, and it's a good thing that he really wasn't my boyfriend because I would have been sick of him already. He's never allowed to stay the night of course, ("Dray, it's seven!" "Yes Mr. Senou, I'm leaving now") but during the week it seemed that he was always around. I think my mom was starting to really love him because of the fact that she spoiled him more than she spoiled her own kids.

One particular night (It was actually past seven, my dad seemed to be more relaxed) we headed to my room to grab a few CD's. I shuffled by my desk while he stayed outside the door waiting. I didn't even notice him pick up my sketchbook that I ruthlessly threw the previous night.

"Wow, you really do love her," he almost gave me a little smirk. My face felt red hot. To my utter horror, he was looking inside, flipping pages. That entire book was filled with her, minus one or two. It took no time to snatch it from his gay little hands.

"Don't. Say. A Fucking. Word," I threw the sketchbook on my bed and snapped at him a "Let's go." As I went out the door.

I don't think I noticed him take the sketchbook off my bed and put it into his bag, but that night I sure did find out. I panicked, and tried calling his phone a thousand times, but with no prevail. The little homo was going to screen my calls.

That morning I tried to hunt his ass down before he did what I thought he would do. I stomped past all my friends in an utter frustration while desperately trying to find him.

With no prevail.

Classes went by that day, but I didn't listen to a word my teachers said. All I could think of was her face when she saw how completely screwed up I was.

I finally found the punk ass at lunch with a huge smile on his face.

"I don't have it, sorry," He said. His eyes were practically laughing at me.

The rest of the day went by, and I didn't hear a word from him or Chie. Maybe he didn't take it afterall and I was just being paranoid. So then the book just disappeared from my room. With no one seeing it. Hey, it could be possible!

That night at home I searched high and low for the stupid book.

With no prevail.

I wanted to scream in frustration and cry in fear. My dad was off at work while my mum was over at some ladies house for some book club of the sorts. I was in some sort of catatonic state, and just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Everything seemed to be crashing, and I wanted so badly to have my wings back. If she saw it...

A tap echoed through my room. I sat up cautiously, trying to figure out where it came from.

Another tap. I glanced at my window.

What the..?

I peered out of it to see her. With a sign. My face again turned a dark red.

_Is this too cliché?_

I read the sign then laughed. Yes Chie, yes it is. But I couldn't help my heart go a million beats per second.

She jerked her head to signal me to come down.

My possibilities were this:

1. I could go down there, wrap my arms around her neck and do what I've be wanting to do for as long as I knew her.

2. I could close my window, pull down the blinds, get a new ID and move to Canada and work for food by being an American prostitute, but still be thousands of miles away from facing her.

Canada was pretty cold.

I opened the door to find her at my door step.

"Listen, Chie, I was just--" She cut me off with a grin.

"Don't explain. I'm sorry for everything." Her voice was strong, dignified. God I missed her. "I'm really sorry if I made you feel bad... about the news." I shook my head.

"I just... I thought you didn't care." She frowned. I let my head fall forward, unwilling to make eye contact.

After I said so, things just seemed to move in complete slow motion. Silence fell over us when she tipped my chin up and let her lips press against mine. Heat clamored up between us. I was kissing her. And REALLY liking it.

On the porch, for the entire estate to see, I was kissing the person I loved more than anything else on this world.

I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her back.

"I always cared," she whispered. Her breath was warm. I leaned in and kissed her again. She broke the kiss and grinned at me.

"Come on, we got a lot of catching up to do." I smiled in return.

"I think we just did it all now."

_I love you_

A voice didn't say it, but it seemed we both heard it.

* * *

And that concludes chapter 2! I'm sort of switching between Chie and Aoi when it comes to who gets the longer portion of the chapter. Last time I think Aoi won, so this time I gave chie a nice bit. Thanks again for all your support and reviews, I'm hoping you all keep reviewing! I love getting all sorts of comments whether good or bad, so if you think it's absolutely horrid then tell me so!

Update may take some more time, I have exams to study for


	3. The Flicker of Shame

Sorry for the lack of updates for a while, but you know how holidays go. Anyway, I'm starting to put together my own fanfiction website (Well, I'm still debating. I might want to wait until I mature more as an author) I had the first page of this written up, but I didn't want to wait and write the whole thing and THEN type, so I'm just going to type up that first page and then just type up the rest without any rough draft. If there's any problems with spelling, grammar, etc. please tell me. On with chapter three!

Chapter Three- The Flicker of Shame

You could say I was in a state of complete euphoria. Chie was so gentle, so safe. Being with her made my heart skip beets and my mind dance in twirls.

Sheets were entangled around me when I woke up in her bed. Immediately my head was filled with the scent of eggs and a hint of bacon. I wrapped the sheets around my body and tiptoed out of the room to take a peak at what was going on in the kitchen. Her back was facing me while she fussed over the stove. She was practically in my condition, just in her boxers with a long apron that covered her front. When she noticed me staring at her, she gave me that same grin I couldn't get enough of.

"I was hoping you were going to sleep in a little longer so that I could bring you breakfast in bed," her eyes trailed down me. "But I think I like this better."

I stuck my tongue out at her. She was a sweetheart with a smart-ass touch.

"Today on the menu is the chef's special pancakes along with a side of eggs and bacon." Ha. Knew it. My scent for good food is rarely out of tune. She slid a plate towards me, and I could swear that it looked just as good as Chie did in that apron.

"But, I have to ask for a tip," she dipped her head down, her lips close. I kissed her and smiled after our lips parted.

"You spoil me," I tugged on a strand of her hair. She had the cutest bed head.

"Maybe you need to be spoiled."

Breakfast was humorous seeing as how we just stared at each other half-naked smiling and laughing. She was perfect in every way. Funny, beautiful, a great cook. I found myself more in love with her each time I happened to glance at her. All those years of waiting seemed completely worth it. All the fear surrounding us seemed to simply evaporate each time hour bodies met. I found myself turning red while picturing last night. I slid a bite of pancake into my mouth, allowing my taste buds to bathe in it in a simple angst. It was even better than mom's, which was very hard to accomplish.

A weight hit me pretty hard.

"Oh.. Shit..." I scrambled from the kitchen into the bedroom and quickly got dressed, trying not to trip on the sheets in my rushed state. Chie leaned against the doorway with her head cocked.

"What's up?"

"My parents..." I checked my cell phone that previously took up the space in my jean pocket. Seven missed calls. I dialed a few numbers.

"Dray, can you pick me up?" Chie's lips tightened to one side. Her eyebrows were furrowed. "I'm at Chie's house..." I tried to make my voice into a strained whisper so he could take the hint. He took it, and I could see his smirk in my head. I gave him the directions while I was sliding one pant leg on.

After I hung up with him I noticed Chie was upset.

"I could have drove you back," her arms were folded at her chest. There was no way that I could let my parents, especially when they'd recognize her right away as the naked goddess that haunts my sketchbook.

"Hun... I'm not ready for them to know yet," her eyes focused downwards as I said it. I wanted to bite my tongue and take it back, her expression made my stomach sick. I wish I could explain how it just wasn't possible for them to know right now. I wrapped my arms around her neck and pressed my forehead against hers.

"I don't think they're ready to know the love of my life is a girl," I felt her face get hot. "They still think Dray and I are a match made in heaven." She gave a small nod. I embraced her and whispered in her ear. "One day they're going to have to deal with it, especially at our wedding, hm?" The corner of her mouth tugged up and I kissed her to rejoice my victory over her.

She was able to get dressed before Dray knocked on the door. Lasers seemed to spew from her eyes at him as he walked in. I gave her a tap on the butt and glared as a signal for her to behave. We embraced and kissed one last time before I headed back home with Dray.

While we were in the car one the way there, he broke out with a huge smile.

"You two have to be a match made in heaven."

I busted out laughing.

"Oh if only you knew."

He pleaded for every detail. I was blushing while I shook my head. I definitely don't kiss and tell.

"All I'll tell you is that she's absolutely perfect."

The rest of the way home I had the biggest stupid grin plastered on my face. Until we got home, then the sickness sunk in. I had no idea how my mother was going to react, but I knew that she was probably pacing in front of the window waiting for my arrival. Sure enough as I opened my door, I couldn't help but see her eyes watching me through the blinds.

Dray mouthed "good luck" and I took in a huge breath. Here we go.

When I walked in she practically pounced on me.

"And I'm guessing you decided not to call when you made the choice of spending the night over at a boy's house?" Her face was molded into a strict frown.

"I... forgot sorry... It won't happen again." My chest was tight and began to get incredibly hard to breathe.

She sighed and pulled her hair back behind her ears.

"Did you at least use protection?" My face grew red hot. Oh my god. She did NOT just ask that.

"M...MOM," I stuttered and looked down. The room temperature just increased by an incredibly 120 degrees.

"I was your age once too you know, and he might be a charmer now, but even the cute ones produce consequences."

"I.. I'm careful..." Was all I could mumble.

"That's my girl, now go upstairs and clean your room; I want it spotless." And that was the end of that. I was still in shock when I collapsed onto my bed, because it was almost as if it didn't matter that I could be sleeping with Dray, but if she knew I loved Chie instead... Hell would break loose. I squeezed my pillow tighter. I knew how Chie felt, she wanted to be with me in reality and not some fantasy in our own world. I wanted to feel relieved that everything remained still for now, but how long would that last?

My reality would come crashing down if the two worlds collided.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise." I knew she couldn't hear me, but I hoped somehow my words reached her.

"Spotless Aoi!" My mom yelled from downstairs.

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

That night Mom actually got home from work in time to eat dinner with me. I wanted to make it really good since I rarely get to eat with her, so I made some westernized fried fish that she always seemed to like. My mom loves western foods. I was pretty quiet though, she was still on my mind. 

"So I sent in your transcripts today," my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. I completely forgot about the academy.

"Erm.. Wow so soon?"

My mom frowned and looked up at me from under her glasses.

"What happened to your excitement?"

"I don't know," I hastily stuffed a piece of fish in my mouth. "It's just sad to have to leave home sweet home, you know?"

She sighed and placed her silverware on her plate.

"Who's the girl?"

I almost choked on my food. My food sort of jumped in the back of my throat when I heard the question, so I was coughing and choking while trying to think of a good answer. Let's see: I could lie, dazzle her with my "I don't want to leave home" speech, or just choke on this fish until I run out of air and die a horrid death.

"W..what?" I managed to spit out. Oh yes, amazing way to get out of this one!

"You've been waiting for this your entire life, and I know there's nothing here for you to keep you to stay."

"But erm... I didn't think you..."

Mom cut me off.

"Knew? Oh hunny I know I haven't been around much lately, but I am your mother so of course I knew. Now tell me who she is."

I squirmed in my chair. So awkward...

"Uhm... Aoi... You know from school. You met her a few times before..." She smiled at me and clapped her hands.

"Oh my, that pretty thing? You did catch a good one." My face went three shades darker. I didn't really say anything but make a "Mmm" sound so that it didn't grow silent.

"But you know you can't ruin your future just because of some girl," she took a sip of her traditional sake. "You're the smart one of the family, you can't let that go to waste."

I only picked at my fish. For some reason I didn't feel like eating anymore.

"I know.."

After dinner she passed out and I sat at the computer messing around with some of my photos. Lately I've been doing better, even without photoshopping anything, but it still wasn't the best I've done. I pulled up the one of Aoi at the creek. I became so absorbed into it. I swear, it was probably the best work I've ever done. She made everything so much more beautiful.

I thought I wanted to go to the academy more than anything else in this entire world. Until I fell in love with her. Somehow my being just felt warmer now. All in all I was happier.

It still bugged me that she didn't want me to take her home out of embarrassment. I could get she didn't want to tell her folks right away but it just seemed it was more of shame. I wanted to unconditionally be with her. I wanted to be able to put my arm around her and say "Yah. This is my girl. My love. My being."

I grabbed the same picture from inside one of my jacket pockets. I pressed it against my heart and tried to fall asleep.

School was like torture to me now. I caught myself staring at her, but now she caught my eyes and would just smile at me. God I wanted to hold her, kiss her, hold hands or something, but I had to just keep going through the motions acting like I wasn't insanely in love with her. It was so freaking hard.

Thankfully Dray laid off the public display now that her and I were together. I had major respect for him after that, because I knew he was getting tortured by the entire football team. One day I was walking in the halls during lunch while Aoi was taking a make-up test or something of the sorts when I came across Dray and the center along with the quarterback from varsity was giving him a hard time.

"Aw come on Dray we just want to make sure you're comfortable the way you are," the QB said with a hand pressed against the lockers in front of the scared shitless Dray. I don't blame him. They were big guys.

The center belt out a deep chuckle.

"The thing about you fags is that you pollute this school like the fucking pervert you are. It makes me so happy to be able to beat the living shit out of fags like you because in my book it's a really good deed."

Dray looked up at him.

"I don't need a couple of steroid-pumped idiots telling me that I'm some sort of fag."

With that I didn't even see the quarterback slug him in the gut he was so fast. I interfered and tried to pull Dray out of there (I definitely knew I couldn't pull the QB off) and tried to get up in his face.

"Pretty funny how you're so scared of "fags" that you'd go out of your way to look tough messing with them. I don't know if you're scared because your dad rapes you at night or you're a fag yourself but you better leave your fucking hands off of him before you get your ass handed to you by a girl, got that?"

He was looking pretty scary with veins bulging from his neck and his pupils got real small. His friend who was considerably bigger than him even looked scared because I made sure to make my voice sound extremely poisonous.

The quarterback looked like he wanted to swing at me real hard but I knew I had the upper hand since I was indeed a girl.

He walked away from it, but as he was going he couldn't help but yell off: "Of course the fag has to get help from a dyke, both of you need to fuck off and leave the world."

I grit my teeth so hard that they started to really hurt. It was the first time the word bashed me, and although I knew he was just being stupid and couldn't figure out a better insult, it still put it's mark on me.

Dyke. What a bullshit word.

"Thanks for that," he got off his knees and picked up the books that he'd been carrying before the two idiots showed up.

"No problem, they're nothing but scum."

After that Dray was pretty much left alone beside being called a fag every now and then, but the new change was that while I walked through the hallways or through the parking lot at school, I started hearing "dyke" way too often then I should. At first I thought my mind heard it once and so it was just starting to hear it more out of some psychology bullshit, but then I started hearing the rumors.

_Did you hear about her? She's supposedly goes to the gay bars in town and hooks up_

_Ugh I'm tired of that dyke being able to be in the locker rooms with us, it's so uncomfortable_

_Dude, do you think we can get that chick to let us watch? Hah!_

It was really tough to be bantered like that behind my back, but luckily it WAS behind my back and not to my face, or else I don't know how I'd be able to handle it.

The thing is though, Aoi started hearing them too.

She started getting real paranoid when the rumor that I was dating a girl at school came around, and eventually people noticed us hanging out together a lot. Basically they put A and B together and came out with C. Us.

Altogether she stopped hanging out with me so much at school, which was fine I was pretty used to it anyway. Don't get me wrong, I was pissed at first and really wanted to cry. I felt like she was ashamed of me, but she assured me on the weekends how much she loved me and wanted to be with me. She just couldn't be out right now.

"Besides, I might just be bi," she said passively while we were walking along the creek.

"Hah. Bi? I didn't know we were going into labels." She frowned.

"The world is full of labels, and it's better to know your label before you get told it by someone else." I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Okay fine, my label is that I'm Chisexual," I made a face at her as she giggled.

"Chisexual? Sounds like a type of porn."

"No no no, it's very simple. I don't like guys and I don't like girls." Her eyebrows raised up.

"I love Aoi, and that's what being Chisexual means. Loving you." Well, it was true. I didn't really know what my label was, I just knew that I loved her even though she was a girl. Hell, I'd love her if she was a pink outer space unknown being.

She slung her arms around my neck and raised her head up to kiss me. I met her lips and smiled.

"Damn I must have said something right."

She grinned.

"Maybe."

One time we made a clearing in the woods so that we could lay down with some blankets and just look up towards the sky, even though the sight was blocked by trees.

We laid there with my arm around her shoulders and her head resting against me. It was so strange how this felt so right in so many ways, but in school it felt so wrong not being close to her. This was so real while at school it was so fake. In some sort of way I wanted us to be able to be like this everywhere we went.

I watched her relaxed face that pressed up against my chest. Her eyes were closed and the breeze swayed her hair ever so gently.

"When are you going to be ready?" She knew what I meant when I asked it. Her face sort of fell because I assumed she knew how much it hurt for me to be so distant from her.

"I don't know Chie..." I bit my lip. I didn't want to push her...

"I like this... You know?"

She sat on top of me and slid my arms above my head with her hands. She brought her face real close to mine and whispered: "I like this too..." I kissed her.

"The college I'm going to is in Nagasaki." There. I said it. It's been on my mind ever since mom mentioned it and I couldn't find the right moment. She looked at me dead in the eyes.

"Nagasaki?"

"Yeah."

"All the way on the other fucking side of the country?" It was the first time I heard her spill the "f-bomb" for as long as I knew her.

"It's a great academy... I've been wanting to go there ever since I was a kid... They have an amazing photography program that I really want to get in to..." She was quiet while I explained how great the school was, and how I never thought I could go because of money issues. "But now I've been able to get in, mom pulled a bonus out of her hat and we applied for some Financial Aid and wah lah! I've been accepted."

She was tugging on a strand of my hair, huddled against me. She still didn't say anything.

"So..." I tried to break the silence.

"That's good, Chie. It's nice to see your goals are happening for you."

"But you're not really happy about it."

"Because I'm selfish," her eyes were sad now.

"I don't think we have much of a choice, you're going to medical school in Tokyo aren't you?" She nodded.

"But I don't even really want to go... I hate the look of that school and I don't even like the medical field."

I ran my fingers over her forehead.

"You don't have to go, babe," I said softly. "Especially if you don't want to."

"It's what my parents want."

"Last time I checked you're not living your parent's lives."

She seemed to really get mad at me after I said that, but to me it seemed to ring true. I was tired of her having to listen to her stuck up parents and doing whatever they wanted her to do. Because of them we can't be us and because of them she's going to be miserable in college. I was lucky to know that my mom backed me up in anything that I wanted.

"Chie you don't know my parents, they're extremely pushy," her eyebrows were furrowed and her voice seemed threatened.

"Only because you let them push you. If you say no, and then do what you want then in the end you'll be happier." To me, it all seemed to make sense, but to her it was like the option from hell.

"My entire college fund is their money that they are willing to spend so I can get a great education... They just want the best for me."

"And what if what they think is the best for you makes you miserable because you hate it so much?"

She really couldn't answer that.

"I think you need to make your own life and follow your own paths, and I say it because I do care about you more than anything else."

She rested her head against my chest again and we stayed there for another good hour or so.

"I'll tell them," she said almost so softly that I could barely hear her voice. I felt really comforted after that. A small place inside me knew that we would really be together in time.

I had a hard time deciding whether that was just false hope or one day a reality.

* * *

Thank you so much guys for reading and I'll start writing the next chapter up very soon! Please don't forget to comment any constructive comments (including negative comments as well, I like the prospect of expanding as an author) with anything that can help me make this story better and better throughout the weeks. Until next time!

Lillium


	4. Truth Slam part 1

Wow! I'm back from a loooong break. I suddenly had this urge to write again so here I am to continue on with the story. Thank you so much for everyone's encouragement to keep me going. I really appreciate it! Hopefully I'm not too rusty. Don't forget to leave me some loving or hating or constructive criticism for me. On to chapter four! (Btw, if anything grammatically is wrong, it's because I don't have word on my new laptop and I'm doing it off of a cheap online processor, this goes for spelling too, not too sure how great the spellcheck is. Please forgive it)

* * *

Chapter 4- Truth Slam (Part 1)

I, Aoi, was sitting at the dinner table, shifting my eyes to each of my family members. Dad, with streaks of gray marking their ways through his dark hazel hair, you could tell he was an aging business man according to how serious the corners of his eyes were. My mom's face was outlined in lines of wrinkles from either frowning too much or simply glaring all the time. Then of course there was my younger brother, energetically charged with red hair that reflected light back to it's watchers. His hair basically represented his personality. Out of control, unique, unpredictable. My family was boring. Business man Dad, stay at home Mom, rebel teenage brother. Normal.

"Aoi, you're awfully quiet," my mother's eyes pierced through my own, causing my brain to race.

"Just tired is all," my voice was in a soft almost whisper-like tone. My brother next to me snorted and flashed his teeth at me. He had a lip ring through the center part of his bottom lip, glistening and taunting my reasoning.

"Yeah too many nights staying up late with your boyfriend," his tone was teasingly playful. My dad slammed his cup down.

"God damn it Rei, do you have to put in a god damn comment for everything?" He was practically yelling. My brother gave a small smirk, his eyes flared at the chance of a fight.

"It's called a joke Dad, maybe if you'd let loose a bit your balls wouldn't be in such a fuckin' bunch." I squeezed my eyes shut as he said it. Dumbass.

The rest of the dinner was in a blur. My dad screamed, my brother screamed, my mom tried to calm them down, and I... well I sat back and ate my dinner.

This event played more often than it should. My brother would say something stupid, or my father would make a comment on how he looked resulting in the said stupid comment thus resulting in a screaming match. The only thing I couldn't stand was towards the end it would always end in a "Why can't you be like your sister?!" or "How on earth can you even be part of her same genes?!" etc., etc. I cringed because I knew deep down how much that truly hurt him.

To be perfectly honest, I loved my brother with every ounce of my being. My parents viewed him as a punk who would never grow up, but I saw him as the unique "no questions asked" genius that he diligently wanted to portray. Physically, everything revolved around him being as unique as can be defined. He had four visible piercings: on his eyebrow, hoop on the ear, hoop on the lip, and of course a stud in the center of his tongue (although he's always said he has five piercings, not four, and I begged him to never EVER tell me where that fifth one was delicately placed). His hair always looked like it was a mess, although he spent hours on it in the morning, trying to control each strand and make sure every single part was into place. He always wore jeans, some of them were tight, some hung loose off of his skin, and he just about always matched them with a metal band t-shirt or some obscene or funny logo that made people's heads turn when they saw him.

He wasn't unique. He DEFINED unique.

That night he sauntered into my room especially peeved. He fell back onto my bed, gripping his fists with my pillow over his head.

"UGH I just want to SCREAM," he said, muffled by the pillow. "No wonder I'm never here. Every time I show up it's always shit I get." Oh yeah. My brother had a hard time ever coming back home on time. He came back when he felt like it, which was usually never until Dad took his keys away for coming home stoned out of his mind at one point. In fact, he's never met Dray or Chie; he just heard stories.

"You know, most of the time they aren't that bad until you pick a fight with them," I said.

He made his "keh" sound and shoved the pillow off his face.

"Easy for you to say, you're their perfect daughter, they're sunshine and glory," he stuck a finger in his throat and pretended to gag. He made me smile.

"I'm nowhere near perfect."

"Right. Med school, no piercings," he stuck his tongue at me as he said it and winked. "And of course the perfect cute boyfriend, who's also perfectly in tune with the world." I shook my head.

"I'm not perfect."

His eyes were glued to the ceiling.

"Why? Because none of that is true?" I must have looked at him funny because he turned to grin at me. "You hate the thought of med school, you want your belly button pierced, and you don't even like your boyfriend because you're..." He paused to see my jaw tighten. My body was stiff.

"Because you're really into that chick that you have like twenty sketch books based on," his smile faded as he tried to carefully watch my reaction. I was absolutely speechless. The kid's a genius.

"You looked at my sketch books?" Was all I could muster up. I could feel my blood heat up and pound in my ears. He nodded.

"Get out of my room.." I didn't know what to say or what to yell. I just kept wanting to scream at him, or tell him it's all not true and say that I really was as perfect as my parents thought I was.

"Don't worry," he gripped my hand. "I am too."

Business Dad. Stay at home Mom. Rebel gay brother. Artistic-medical school hater- lesbian lover- perfect Me. By family standards we were..

Normal. Right.

* * *

So my doorbell rang while Mom had another overnight shift like she always had on Fridays. She stood there on my doorstep with that gorgeous smile, killer eyes, and of course her punk ass brother who obviously now knows about us. And enjoyed every minute of it.

"Why?" I groaned as I saw him next to her. She glared at me and he couldn't help but smirk.

"Hay sexy!" He slid an arm around my neck in some sort of awkward embrace. Sickening, awkward, dumbass embrace. "Don't worry, I'm not going to interrupt you two while you, uh... "talk"." He snorted at his own joke. I wondered how long it would take for the human lungs to fully run out of air during a suffocation procedure.

"Is he drunk?" I grumbled as I pushed him off of me.

"Probably," she replied and rolled her eyes. "He'll pass out on the couch in no time." He slid on the couch as I grabbed Aoi's overnight bag, and her hand to guide her to my room. Immediately, she slid her arms around my neck and brought her lips to mine, parting them ever so slightly. I smiled and slid my hands down to her waist.

"I missed you too," I smirked. She playfully pushed me. "How was your night? Obviously not well, seeing as how you decided to drag a drunk faggot into my house." I scrunched my nose, wanting to show I was kidding. Sort of.

"Screaming match between the 'rents. He knows about us. Oh and he's gay too, supposedly." She shook her head then cuddled against my chest. I guess the faggot part was right then.

"Wow. So there is a gay gene." She pretended to glare at me and hit my arm.

"Everything's better now, though," she kissed the base of my neck, resulting in the shivers that ran their fingers throughout my spine.

I smiled and tightened my hold on her.

"I also have some good news that might make everything twenty times better," I said, a smile creeping to my lips. Her eyebrows raised a tad bit. "Embry's Academy also has an excellent art program. In fact, one of the top in the country's art schools as well, and that's not even including the photography program." I could see her bite her lip.

"I can't go to an art school," she said. Ugh this again.

"Why not?"

"My parents won't allow it."

"Who cares. You love drawing and painting, why not do something you love?"

"Because my parents doesn't want me pursuing that as my career path," I could tell her tone was getting tense. Her body didn't react well either, she stiffened and made me more and more angry.

"Don't you get it? We can get dorms together, both doing what we love because we'll be able to decide whatever the fuck we want to because we have minds of our OWN," I could feel my face get real hot. She sort of melted into nothing in my arms.

"I love you," she whispered. My anger dispersed.

"I love you, too..." I kissed the top of her head. "Think about it, at least?"

"Of course I will. It sounds very interesting," she winked at me.

I smiled and kissed her lips and once again melted away in her being. I loved this girl and I most definitely wanted her near me, no matter what her parents thought. Honestly, when it comes to their approval...

I didn't give a flying shit.

* * *

Okay, so I have to cut it short because for some reason it's not uploading past this point, so I did some editing to kind of make it into more of an ending, but only to this one part. After work tomorrow I'll try and upload the second part. Comment on the first part if you'd like, if you'd like to wait for the second part go ahead, however I need as much loving as possible!

Sorry again for the shortness!

Lillium


	5. Truth Slam Part 2

Okay so time for the second part! Excitingly I have a brand new LiveJournal which I'm posting my chapters along with a more in depth analysis and babbling of how I develop characters, the causes behind elements in the story, etc. My live journal name: lillium(underscore)ai

Seriously! Come and see me. THE LINK IS IN MY BIO!

Come and visit me and leave me some loving! I'll also be posting "shorts" or "bonus chapters" every so often, so be sure to check my LJ for them and see some hawt Chie x Aoi action. I'll also be posting on the progress of new chapters so you can always know when I'll be updating again! I'm also fixing to get an update schedule, which will also be posted on my LJ!

Anyway, chapter 4 part 2 is going to tie in some different plot lines, and our new character is going to make a surprisingly abrubt development for the side plot line. (Don't want to spoil it!) Enjoy and as always, don't forget to comment and leave me either some loving, hatin' or overall decent criticism to help me out.

* * *

I definitely didn't dream that night, probably because all my dreams and fantasies was sleeping right next to me. When I woke up I just stared at her soft and innocent facial features while she slept. Her brown hair shimmered a golden tint with the new morning sun soaking itself in each individual strand. Her milky white skin basically glistened, and of course I couldn't help but to grab the strand to my camera.

Click.

The shutter closed, capturing the moment. No, capturing her essence, right there on the picture. She muttered something, then turned to lay more on her back, her arms spread and a little complimentary cleavage presented itself to my yearning eyes. I couldn't help but smile. I loved this girl.

I headed downstairs towards the kitchen to see if there was anything left in the house I could muster up for breakfast.

When I opened the door, two shocking facts made my jaw practically drop.

One: My mom was up early and actually conversating with Aoi's brother. And seemingly liking it.

Two: She was making him pancakes. PANCAKES.

"Wow," was all I could mutter as they smiled at me. Rei's smirk basically devoured what little likability he had. Mom flipped the pancakes on a few seperate plates and set the dishes in the sink.

"Well," she said while leaning against the counter. "I'm going to head out in about five minutes or so. Sorry for not being able to say hi to Aoi, but work is work." I nodded. I felt bad for Mom, she looked exhausted.

"Don't worry, I'm a great substitute. Better than the original in fact," Rei said as he gouged his pancakes in massive amounts of syrup. I couldn't help but snort. Did he see how gorgeous his sister was? He didn't stand a freakin' chance. Mom smiled and took her leave while stopping to kiss me on the top of my head. What a dork.

I grabbed a plate, made sure I didn't put so much syrup on to give myself an immediate cardiac arrest, then finally dug in. Mom hasn't actually cooked something in... Well God knows how long.

"So, you and my sister, huh?" Rei cocked his head while staring at me eating. I could feel a red blush creep up my neck.

"Yeah."

"Don't get upset, I think it's totally cool," he took in another mouthful. Already half of his pancakes disappeared. "I'm gay too, so there's no worries." I bit my lip. How could he possibly understand? It wasn't like his sister and I were "gay" for each other, whatever the hell that means. No, we were a lot deeper. It's something I couldn't expect a punkass like him to understand. We.. sort of melted into one. Her inner being was part of my inner being and vice versa. It was definitely beyond any sort of gay attraction.

"You know she's really crazy about you," he commented. I picked at my pancakes.

"I really love her, you know?" He nodded.

"Good, because I like you. I think you'd be perfect for her," he grinned at me and winked. Ugh. Ew.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "If I can ask, why is that?"

He shrugged. " I don't know, I think you'll be able to give her what she wants. I also think you'll be the one to finally free her from our dumbass family." I actually cracked a smile.

"Why, 'cus they'll kick her out? Yeah sounds great."

"They wouldn't. She's just paranoid because she's always worried about Mommy and Daddy's opinions. Talk about faggotry. No offense," another smirk.

I left it there. I didn't feel like going any further with the conversation. His pancakes were completely gone and mine were hardly touched.

"Go and wake her ass up, we were going to meet Dray today and actually do some shit," he said as he yawned. I gritted my teeth. God damn it. Not only do I have to put up with this punkass but now I have to deal with Dray too? Lovely.

I basically sulked when I re-entered my room. Same Aoi. Same position. Same awesome view.

I crouched down and kissed her. I saw a glint of her gorgeous blue eyes as she smiled at me.  
"Good morning," she lifted her neck and kissed me.

"Mornin'," I replied. "Pancakes are downstairs." She licked her lips. Oh god. I could feel the heat creep to my face. She took notice.

"Dirty thoughts this early in the morning? Pervert."

I chuckled.

"Only about you, and I can't really help it now can I?" I whispered and kissed her neck. I'm sure I've already said it plenty of times, but once more couldn't hurt... I freakin' love this girl.

I felt her skin get goosebumps as my lips touched her delicate skin.

"Close the door," she said.

I hope Rei wasn't in too much of a hurry.

* * *

We finally decided to meet Dray at the movies. When we got there he was leaned against the building in the front.

"Oh. Wow," I heard Rei mutter. I chuckled at my brother.

"Nice of you to be checking out my "boyfriend"," I stuck my tongue out at him. I heard Chie grumble something as we pulled into the parking lot. I snuggled against her and kissed her cheek. "You can have him, Rei, because I already have the best that I could have ever asked for." I felt heat on Chie's cheek.

I waved at Dray as we walked up. Rei was slouched over, trying to walk like he was cool. He was adorable. Chie grabbed a hold of my hand.

"Dray, I want you to meet my brother, Rei." Dray smiled.

"Hi," Dray said to my brother.

"Heya," Rei replied. They stood there and stared at each other for a good five to ten seconds.

"Okay lover boys, let's go and finally sit our asses down in this movie," Chie grumbled.

"AOI! Hey!" Someone called me in front. I focused on who it was and panicked. A girl named Mai from our school spotted us. I dropped Chie's hand lightening fast.

"Hey, Mai," I smiled at her. Crap. Couldn't we go somewhere without fear of being seen?

"Tate, some friends of ours and I are going to watch that new horror movie, wanna come?" Great. That was the movie we were going to watch. Dray already bought his ticket.

"Sounds like fun," Dray complied. I saw Chie's fist tighten.

"Great," Mai smiled at us. "It's so great to see you two, you're adorable." She shifted her eyes to Chie and my brother. "Wow, and I had no idea that you two would be anywhere near compatible." I think Chie's brain exploded because she just mumbled something and looked down. Rei couldn't help but take advantage of the situation given to him. He slung an arm around Chie's shoulders and kissed her cheek. I tried so hard not to laugh.

"Come on baby, let's get going," he grinned.

So the seating went as follows: Tate's friends at the end, Tate, Mai, me, Dray, Chie, then my brother. I think I could feel the hatred seething from Chie, even though she was only a few seats down. Throughout the entire movie, it seemed like none of us were even paying attention. Mai and Tate kept staring at each other, practically ready to make out at any given moment, Dray kept shifting his attention to Rei, and of course Rei kept meeting his eyes and then they would blush and look back to the movie only to repeat the same action. I kept focus on Chie. She was actually watching the movie, her facial expression indifferent. There was something off with her, it seemed like she was really upset. I was pretty sure why.

This morning we were so close. We were practically one person. Now... even though she was only a few seats away it felt like she was five football fields from me. I sighed and focused back to the movie.

I'm sorry.

I hoped she would hear my thoughts, but when I looked back over her face had fallen into a distressed grimace.

I'm so sorry.

* * *

End of chapter four! I love that we have a new character to deal with, and because he's completely from my own imagination I get to mold him however I please. (This is the same with Dray too, it's going to be A LOT of fun!) I'm going to start writing five tomorrow, and check on my livejournal with updates on it's progress. Eventually I'll create an update schedule so that I can force myself to write for you guys, instead of writing / updating when I feel like it.

Don't forget to leave me some great comments! (And check out my new LiveJournal!)

-Lillium


	6. Burning Heave

Sorry for not updating once again! I've been on this major WoW / Diablo binge, trying to get to 70 before expansion. Anyway, I want everyone to know that I added the first part of a series of bonus chapters up on my LJ, and trust me you'll WANT to start watching my Livejournal for them. The next few chapters are going to get depressing / angsty, but I've balanced it out with really fluffy / sexy / awesome bonus chapters. (Need a sneak peek? Chie. Aoi. Pool scene. Need I say more?) So please, check out my profile and head over to my Livejournal and comment on some bonus chapters, because they're going to be sweet! Not only that, but you'll get inside my head and learn why I created the characters in certain aspects, what bits and parts of the story came from my experiences, etc. I PROMISE you won't regret heading to my LJ and checking it out!

Anyway, finally on to chapter five. I still don't have word, so the grammar / spelling may be a bit off since I'm using an online word processor still. These next few chapters are really going to focus in on the realism of a relationship. Nothing is perfect forever, so of course there's going to be bumps in the road. Now, I also might be introducing more made up characters not from the show, if this is annoying please let me know. (I understand everyone is reading this because it is a FANFIC not an original story) Anyway, enjoy the chapter and don't forget to comment!

Also, in other news, I need a beta reader for my grammar, use of words, plot, character development, etc. Let me know if you're interested. You can either e-mail me, leave a comment on my LJ, or add me to MSN (All which can be found in my profile)

* * *

Chapter Five- Burning Heave

I practically ran from the theatre. I could feel Mai and her friend's confused looks burning into my backside. Aoi ran after me, leaving her brother and Dray behind.

"Chie, stop," she grabbed my arm. I kept my head down; my hair covered my gritted teeth and tears pasted on my cheeks. I didn't look at her. "I'm sorry."

"You're not sorry," I choked. "You're ashamed. Of me. Of us." I bit the bottom of my lip. Her fingers burned into my arm, scorching the skin even though she hardly held on tight. Her touch infected each cell. An infection that crawled passed her fingers, through my barrior and into my blood. My soul and my being.

"No.. I'm just not ready."

"When will you be ready?" My fist tightened.

"I.. I don't know."

"I don't want to push you," I mumbled. "But I don't want to be the skeleton in your closet. How long is it going to last? Forever? You're under their damn grip." My mouth was incredibly dry. I tried gaining confidence in my voice, but it cracked and broke into pieces.

"Chie.. I love you." She was still.

"I love you too, but that's the problem." She dropped my arm. I got into my car and started the engine. She didn't move. I set the car into drive. She didn't stop me.

I drove away with only a glance in my rearview mirror. She still stood there, bewildered.

Finally, I understood myself before I met her. I understood why I chose to stay on the sidelines and never get involved.

Love is so three dimensional. People feel it, lose it, write novels about it. Love has caused death, betrayal, and greed. I was so ignorant of it, so sure that it was the answer to my happily ever after. It felt so bliss and so pure. My love ridden heart yearned for it like an addiction. The ultimate addiction for the ultimate alcohol. A sip could be considered as a simple touch. It lasts, but soon I craved more.

A kiss was a gulp.

Those nights were entire bottles filled with that same liquid desire that kept me going. Pretty soon I was hooked. I needed her. I NEEDED that feeling.

My hands were shaking as I drove away. I choked back tears. My heart was pounding in my ears, knocking loudly against my head.

My heart screamed that it needed help. It was injured, sick and broken into pieces. My mind shook its head and turned its back. It kept saying "I told you so" over and over.

Yes, I understood why I chose to stay on the sidelines. That alcohol was what made people obsessed. When someone takes it away, your being dies. Everything hurt.

Love. Fucking. Sucks.

* * *

I watched her drive away. I didn't feel tears yet, but I'm sure they're saved for later. This was my fault. Was I ashamed?

The color from my face seemed to be lossed. I felt empty.

I walked back towards Dray and Rei, alone. They could tell on my face what happened. Dray tried to comfort me while Rei kept silent.

When I got home, I dove into my bed and buried my face in my pillow. Hot tears poured down my face at full force, dampening the cloth of the pillow case.

What did she expect me to do? Come out and let everyone know that I was this huge dyke? While I'm at it, how about telling them how I hate the thought of going to med school? How I despise my life? How the only piece of happiness I've had in forever was bottled inside the perfect body of a girl who has such a tight grip on my heart.

"You're an idiot." Rei's voice floated through my room.

"Get the fuck out of my room."

"Do you know how much she loved you?"

"Shut up..."

"God damn, she just wanted you to show her outside of her fucking room that you gave a shit, but I guess in the end you really do hold the fucktard's opinion of you in a higher regard than this girl you supposedly are madly in love with."

He struck a nerve.

"Sorry to tell you sis, but you REALLY need to talk to Mom and Dad. To be honest, you are SO gay."

I tightened my grip on my pillow.

"I know that, okay?"

"Then it's time for you to confess it. You'd be a dumbass to let her slip through your fingers, which is EXACTLY what you're doing."

I heard him leave. My brain was flooded with possible solutions and thoughts. I played over a confession scene with my parents and just couldn't find a reasonable scenario.

Rei was right, though.

It had to be done. I sat up and wished she was there to wipe away my tears. I brought my sleeve up to my cheeks. I finally knew.

It was time.

* * *

It's been a week since I "called it off". That day I wasn't entirely sure if I broke up with her. During the first few days I was miserable. My mom actually stayed home from work on that third day to comfort me.

She held me tight as I bawled. She knew how much pain my inner core felt. She laid with me on the couch all day and we watched re-runs of America's MadTV and South Park. I didn't laugh, but I did feel better when my mom stroked my hair, humming to me. She made my favorite brownies that night too. I couldn't have asked for a better Mom.

"I know it hurts now, but don't worry it fades," she told me. I nodded absentmindedly. After that third day, I felt numb again. I really thought my heart just gave up and let my brain sit in the control chair, because I felt nothing. I didn't even cry. It was as if someone turned the switch off on my emotions, because it seemed like I reverted back to my Freshman year.

I was feeling okay when I had coffee on a Friday afternoon in a neat little coffee shop with Wi-Fi. I sat in there, sipping on my drink working in Photoshop on a landscaping I had took a picture of the day before. I was still trying to pick out what photo I wanted to send in for Embry's application.

"That's really pretty." I looked up.

A girl was peering over my shoulder to my project I was toying with. Her arms were rested on the back of my chair, her mouth curved up in a smile. She had wavy blond hair that reached down a little below her shoulders and had killer blue eyes. Obviously she was western; her accent was horrid.

"Well, it's a work in progress."

"Where is the place at? I'm curious, seeing as how I'm kind of a tourist." Another flash of that smile. I returned the show of teeth.

"It's in the Fuuka Gardens, and if you like, I'd be happy to show you." Her eyes were shining while she cocked her head and looked into mine.

"I'd love that."

"Very well, call me your own personal map."

I think I felt a tug on my heart as I said it.

* * *

I slid the fork in my mouth, trying to avoid Rei's glances towards my direction. It's been a week since our little "talk" and still each night at dinner there hasn't been any true real progress.

My father was reading a newspaper, so the talk was pretty scarce and quiet. As he turned a page he huffed at the story.

"Have you heard of what America is starting to do? Allowing those.. gays to get married." Redness crept up my neck.

Rei snorted and replied, "Well I think it's great. Finally some countries are starting to become a little less old fashioned."

"Of course you would praise such a disgusting act." My hand froze while the fork was midway in my food. "These guys are an abomination against the world itself, not only unnatural but plain disgusting."

Rei stood up, his hands clenched into fists. I knew he was partly angry on his own behalf, but something told me he was trying to defend me, the weak and breakable one.

"Stop being stuck in the 20's old man. I'm so sure you haven't fapped off to a few dudes in your times."

My father stood up and reached over the table and slugged the unsuspecting Rei. Veins buldged out of my father's neck; the blood rushed up to his face. Rei's teeth were clinched, but he made no move. My mother stood by in shock with her mouth open.

"You will NOT disrespect me like that."

"Fuck. You," Rei said and left the table. I heard the backdoor slam. My father sat back and picked up his paper as if nothing happened.

"Damn fag," I heard him mutter. My mother was silent.

Something bubbled in my core. Even when I look back now, I don't understand why exactly I chose this exact time. It seemed to be the WORST time to be noble and brave. I sat still for now, letting the bubbles fizz in my stomach. However, I think it was the next statement uttered by my father that triggered me. That made me explode.

"Why couldn't he be perfect like you, Aoi?"

I sat my fork down and took a deep breath.

"Mom. Dad," Surprisingly, my voice was backed with confidence. "I don't want to go to fucking medical school, I'm most definitely not going out with Dray," their eyes bulged either at my comment or my cuss word that they've never heard even slightly come from my mouth. "Oh and of course. I'm a dyke." I stood up, left them where they sat with their mouths hanging open and walked out of my household. I wasn't surprised to see Rei waiting for me.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Congratulations big sister, how do you feel being all out and proud?"

I paused and thought for a second or so.

"Free."

* * *

Phew the angst! Not so much dialogue in this one, mostly just the feelings and thoughts of the characters. (O M G and possibly a new plot with the mysterious blonde in the coffee shop?!) Ahaha, man. I love this fic more and more after each chapter.

Anyway, my next post will be on my LJ with a bonus chapter to even out this angsty one. Also, I'll start taking requests if you want me to write a good idea or situation with any of the characters. (Hell, want me to write a yaoi scene between Dray and Rei? Might be some fun stuff) Also, check out my LJ for comments on the characters (At the end of chapter five) and what on earth was going through my head when I made Rei.

So yeah everyone don't forget to look me up on my LJ! As always, don't forget to comment too!

(BTW I need a beta reader! Message me, e-mail me, MSN me, or leave me a comment on my LJ if you are interested!)

-Lillium


	7. Repressed Fire

And we're back. Just moved to a new household so now I'm ready to crack down and write up the next chapter. Also, I'd like everyone to meet my new beta reader, LannerFalcon (I'm going to call him Lanny for funzies) So if there's any mistakes you can place the blame on him now. (Love yah Lanny)

I just want to make a note on Aoi's character:

I didn't mean to make her so... interesting this chapter. You'll see what I mean in the first two paragraphs, but I'm sure everyone who has had repressive parents has rebelled in some way / shape / form, whether it be physical or emotional. I hope I wasn't too extreme with it, and if it was tell me.

* * *

Chapter 6 - Repressed Fire

I felt myself gulp as if I was a character in a cartoon facing a rather terrifying task or situation. All I could think about was how stupid it was to being doing this. In fact, I _knew_ there would be some consequences down the line in some way.

I took a deep breath.

"You sure you want to do this? You're starting to look a little pale," Rei grinned at me. I stared at the entrance of the tattoo and body piercing shop, a place where I'm sure Rei has been to many times and somehow got away without a parent's signature for _all_ his piercings.

"You know you can always get a tattoo that says "I love Mom," a chuckle escaped his lips. Haha. Yeah. Right. He knew damn well that Mom and I weren't on the greatest of terms.

"No, I know what I want." I bit the inside of my lip. I guess it's got to be done eventually;should I stand here and keep staring? Then nothing gets said or proven, and thus nothing achieved.

I wanted my tongue pierced.

I know, right? It sounds totally not perfect-med-school-Aoi capable. I wanted something changed about me to symbolize the fact that I am embracing my own changes. I know it sounds pretty stupid and corny poetic, but it was completely true.

I wanted to show my parents that I don't give a damn.

"You could just, like, dye or cut your hair you know," Rei offered a way out. He obviously could tell I was nervous.

"Not drastic enough."

"Eyebrow pierced?"

"Too visiable— and ouch."

"Then let's do it."

I took a deep breath. My legs quivered a moment,but I felt my feet move forward, despite my head screaming how huge of a mistake this was.

The piercer was an unusual large guy with tattoos and piercings covering his body. When he saw Rei a grin spread to each side of his face, exposing the gap between his front teeth.

"Hey Parker Boy, whatcha getting done this time?"

Rei shook his head and pointed a finger at me.

"Not me. Her." The burly man raised his pierced eyebrows as he inspected me. I think I squirmed a little underneath his stare.

"Whatcha gettin' done sweet haht?"

"My…tongue if it isn't too much trouble," my speech was merely a mumble.

He turned back to Rei.

"She of age?"

Rei snorted.

"Has that ever stopped you?"

I rolled my eyes at Rei's reply and handed the man my ID. He inspected it then flashed his eyes towards me.

"Hokay, let's get this partah started." Another gap filled grin consumed his face.

My stomach turned inside out. The man sat me down in a leather chair next to a sink, as he put on gloves and opened the needle's packet. He poured me a tiny cup of listerine and handed it to me.

"Swish it around yer' mouth until I say stop."

I nodded and pouring the liquid, in I began to swish. At first the taste was unbearable; tears actually clouded my eyes.

"So why is a girl like her doin' this sort of thing? I mean, I can see a guy like you Rei, but her? She looks like she needs to be at some girl scouts meetin'." He bursted into a laughing fit over his own joke. I would be offended at the comment if I wasn't distracted by the damned searing liquid that was numbing my mouth.

"Hokay," he said and pushed my chair towards the sink. "Spit."

Gladly, I spat the vile listerine out as fast as possible. Rei was grinning at me as he leaned against the doorway with his arms folded. He seemed to be enjoying this too much.

"All righty, open yer' mouth but yah' don't hafta say "Ahhhh"," he gave another chuckle which blew his heated breath into my face. Bleck. It smelled like nachos. "Stick out yer' tongue all the way for me and show me the bottom of it." I did so and he inspected it.

"Aight, I know where I need ta' put it, so stick it out all ta way for me." I did so, and he grabbed a good portion of my tongue with a prong-like tool. It felt cool, and he continued to apply pressure with it.

"Take some deep breaths," he murmured. I was focusing on the pressure of the prongs, knowing I'd feel a prick somewhere near that area. Within a blink of an eye, I felt a sudden sting that made me wince. "There we go. Good gal." He lifted my tongue up a bit, and screwed on the bottom ball.

"Take a look." He turned my chair towards a mirror that was behind me. A long silver bar with a small ball at the end judded up from the surface of my tongue. I looked at my overall face and noticed I was a lot paler than usual.

"Keep sittin' for a bit, don't wantcha fallin' on me." He let out a loud chuckle that made his body bounce in sync with his laughs.

"Kickass Aoi." Rei smiled at me. My stomach didn't feel as queasy, although my tongue still stung. It didn't hurt me enough to make me cry, but I sure felt it.

"Just so yah know, you'll have to stay with that starter bar until about a month or two, depending on the healin' it goes through," he began cleaning up his supplies while he talked. "Don't even think about takin' it out until at least eight weeks, remembah that yer' tongue is a muscle, not cartilage like yer' ears, so it's gunna heal twice as fast."

I stuck my tongue out and examined it once more. A strange affection bubbled inside me. It was kinda' cool.

"Try and swish some Listerine at least twice a day, but don't go overboard or else yer' tongue's gunna turn more brown than red." I glanced at Rei with a disgusted look on my face. He smiled back. "Also, try and brush the tops when yah brush yer' teeth to get rid of the plaque that builds." I nodded at him and smiled.

"Oh and no oral sex and whatnot until at least a month, don't want no infections of that kind in yer' tongue hole." He didn't chuckle this time like he did before, but I couldn't help but burst into laughter, making Rei join in.

"I'll try not to."

* * *

I think deep down I knew what piece of my work I was going to use. My specialty was landscaping, but after a while landscapes got boring. My photoshop skills aren't as great when it comes to editing images with people in it, so I didn't want to send any of those off to Embry as part of my application. However, there was one landscaping piece with a person in it that always took my breath away.

When I first considered sending Aoi's creek image to Embry, I immediately rejected the notion. It was too brutal of a reminder that sank with that moment. Besides, I wanted it all to myself. My selfish heart still clung onto it—still clung to her snapshot beauty. It wasn't until Amy pointed out that it was one of my best pieces of work.

Her blonde hair was strung out in my lap as she examined the photo.

"She's beautiful." She said in her adorable American accent. I smiled weakly, and nodded.

"Yeah. The lighting really brings out the glow in her skin– I hardly have to do anything Photoshop-wise."

"I think you should submit this one," she said. I cocked my head and looked down at her as she looked up from my lap, a smile wove through her face. I ran my fingers through her long, curly hair.

"Yeah. Maybe."

Amy reached her head up and met my lips. I was getting pretty comfortable with her after our trip to the gardens. She just seemed so open and honest, not afraid to hold my hand in public, or even wrap her arms around me as if we were a couple. I could fall in love with this American girl if my heart yearned for it, but this time it seemed to be all brain.

It was strange, because I thought of her like I thought of an equation.

Amy was defined as beautiful, smart, adorable, honest, and overall comfortable. That's like five points plus three points, etc.

Eventually it just added up that I should like this girl.

However, when her lips brushed against mine, I didn't receive that jolt that I did from Aoi. My heart didn't speed up a thousand miles per hour to the point where it was going to drive straight out of my chest. My heart was hardly putting in any effort, for it was still yearning for Aoi like it had been for the past few weeks. My brain saw to it that it would conquer over my heart and force me to involve myself with this American girl.

Besides that fact, Amy was merely on vacation trying to have a good time. She was leaving in a week and probably never coming back again – or a least for many years.

For now though, she seemed to be the bandage that helped mend me.

She moved to now sit in my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"You could take a photo of us doing the nasty and send that to them," a sly smile came upon her face.

"Then I'd really get in, but only if I gave them your number," I teased. She smiled back and kissed my lips once more, pressing herself harder against me.

My eyes couldn't help but to venture to Aoi's photoand _her_ face. Perhaps my heart made it so that I was unable to tear my stare away from it, but the entire time I was with Amy, my heart won my brain over and forced it to imagine that it was Aoi in my arms.

I laid Amy down and kissed her neck.

Aoi's gorgeous face was all I could see.

* * *

"What on EARTH is in your mouth young lady?" My face became real hot when Mother noticed my new "accessory".

"Just starting on my new look I guess." Rei snorted behind me. My mother's eyes seemed to bulge.

"I don't know what you're trying to prove, but that thing will come out IMMEDIATELY."

"I paid for it and it's not coming out. I'm eighteen now which means I'm legally allowed to have it."

"I am your mother and you WILL do as I say," her fists were clenched as she glared at me.

"Sorry, Mom," I mumbled. "But it's not coming out. I still haven't gotten the chance to use it yet." A grin became plastered on my face. I heard Rei howl from laughter. Part of me couldn't believe what I was saying to my mother, but yet a more dominant part of me didn't even care. It was the end of my senior year, my girlfriend broke up with me and god damn it I'm going to at least have something to show for it.

"We'll see what your father says about this at dinner tonight," her eyes became slits as if she was trying to send her lasers from them to zap me where I stood.

"Sorry again, but Rei and I are going out to the Town Center to eat right now actually, so I'll have to catch Dad later," I slung my purse over my shoulder. The great thing about being eighteen was a newfound confidence that I was in some legal sort of way, an adult. With that, I felt power. If I didn't want to do something, I had some sort of right not to do it without my consent. It was utterly amazing.

As I drove us towards the center Rei was still laughing at my confrontation with Mom.

"Man, Aoi, I didn't even know you had it in you."

I smiled. Things were definitely changing, and I was loving every part of it, except for the whole single thing.

"Oh, and I hope it was okay for me to invite Dray along," he tried to slide in smoothly. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Ooooh Draaaay is coming, hmm?" He play slugged me in the arm.

"That boy is moving so slow, he keeps telling himself that he is in no way gay, yet I've caught him staring at my ass so many times," a grin placed itself across his lips. "But then again, I do have a hot as hell ass." I almost gagged.

"Can we NOT talk about your ass?"

He chuckled even as we stepped out of the car and began our walk around the center. Dray met us towards the beginning, and somehow Rei managed to swipe him away from the crowds towards the back, leaving me alone and ditched by my own brother.

I sighed and shook my head, glad enough that both Dray and Rei found one another.

I headed to coffee shop alone, craving for some sort of Hazelnut coffee. I ended up buying a regular Hazelnut with the usual cream and sugar, and was sipping on it as I exited the shop.

I looked across the street, and practically dropped my cup.

I saw her.

I saw the girl clinging to her, their hands were intertwined.

I wanted to puke.

I stood on the sidewalk, dazed. What was she doing? Was I that easy to get over?

A biker was yelling at me to move, but I didn't register his yells in my head, I just kept my eyes focused on the couple across the street. I took a small step forward, when I finally heard the biker as he almost ran me over, but instead lost balanced trying to swerve away from me and tumbled to the ground.

The entire street focused on him.

She focused on me, wide eyed. Briefly, I met her eyes, but tore them away as fast as I could.

I apologized to the man, then ran. I might have heard someone yell my name, but it could have just been my eager imagination. My chest felt like it was ripped apart.

That girl. Her face was as fake as her hair color. I immediately despised her. A part of me even despised Chie for chopping up what we had like that. She rebounded on the first tourist she could find.

Tears clouded my eyes again. I thought I was re-defining myself. Starting over. Being more confident.

Instead I was huddled in a store's bathroom, crying my eyes out with a swollen and hurt tongue, longing after a girl who has completely moved on.

I didn't feel very defined.

I felt pathetic.

* * *

And that's chapter 6! Thanks once again to Lanny for editing my horrid grammar and spelling. We're nearing the end of this story, but don't fret! I have two projects that I'm thinking about working on, one which will be my very own project (you know, entirely my creation) and then another Chie / Aoi. Keep checking my LiveJournal for updates regarding those.

As always, leave me some love or criticism and until next time.

-Lillium

* * *


	8. Hurl

Been a while eh? I've been swamped with school and two jobs but it's not really an excuse for my lack of updates. I really had no clue whether or not the project was worth it. I'm not too sure if the fans are still enjoying it because it's becoming pretty dramatic and drawn out. For some reason it seems like my style of writing is depleting but it could just be me being lazy. I want to write up one more chapter to give you guys a chance to tell me how it is. I'm still deciding whether I want to continue the project or drop it and start one of my own (as in, not a fanfiction).

By the way, my beta reader didn't edit this one. (Sorry Lanny! I'll email you if I decide to continue it)

Onto chapter seven. I don't own any of the characters, nor do I own Mai Hime in any way / shape or form.

* * *

Chapter 7- Hurl

I literally felt sick. I saw Aoi. I saw Aoi's face. I saw the horror reflected into Aoi's eyes. Immediately, I felt her pain. I didn't know how to react. I felt Amy's tug on my arm and I heard her voice form my name but I didn't pay attention to that.

I watched Aoi run away. No, I watched her run away from ME. Her perfect hair bounced against her back, making the memories of my fingers threading through the beautiful locks.

I. Was. A. Dumbass.

I didn't run after her. I stayed put with another girl hanging onto my arm.

"Chie?"

"Mmm?"

"We should probably go now. You have to mail your application."

"Yeah."

I stared at where Aoi caught my eyes. The space that was graced with her presence. Now that spot lay empty; her glow no longer illuminated the area.

"Chie?" Another tug on my arm.

I forced my legs to move and tore my eyes away from that spot.

I had to see her.

No.

I NEEDED to see her.

I. Am. A. Dumbass.

* * *

_FUCK!_

I didn't want to see her. Okay so what was the big deal? She just had some bimbo hanging onto her. No big deal. Suddenly I wondered if they had sex. MY girlfriend had sex with some obvious skank. I wanted to hurl.

I wanted to blame myself. I lost my chance with the most amazing girl existing on this planet because of my cowardice.

Hell, now I would scream all throughout the streets of Tokyo screaming: "I AM SO FUCKING GAY FOR THIS GIRL", then make out right there in the center of the crosswalk, forcing cars to go around us. I bit onto the top bar of my tongue ring. I played Rei's emo rock CD mix over and over again. It felt like every single song was written just to make me miserable at how I lost the one girl I loved with all my heart.

I cried. Boy, did I cry. Tears swamped my pillow case as I yearned for her to kiss them all away.

A small knock on my door filtered through my sobs.

I bolted upright and wiped my eyes when I mumbled that the visitor could enter. Mom delicately walked across my room and sat next to me.

"Is there anything I can do?" I tried meeting her eyes but I quickly looked away.

"No."

She grabbed my shoulders and pressed me into her embrace. I felt her chest rise as she sighed and whispered in my ear.

"She'll come to her senses. And hey, even if she doesn't there will always be other--" I knew why the pause existed in that sentence. "People." I heard the strain when she finished, but I knew what she meant. She really did care.

With that I cried some more, clinging tightly to my mother.

I was pissed at her. I wanted to beat that blonde with a bat. Most of all I hated myself.

Fuck you Chie.  
_Fuck you Aoi._

The next day I wasn't even thinking when I filled out a certain college application. I knew I was stupid when I just tore one of my old drawings of Chie sleeping out of my portfolio. It was my personal favorite, and I clipped it onto the application.

I knew it was ridiculous to hope.

At least I had the hope to redeem her.  
_

* * *

  
_

_"So, you going to miss me?" Amy's hand pressed against my upper chest, obviously tempting me._

_"Nah, not really." She smirked and punched my arm._

_"Flight 84 to Las Vegas, California is now boarding seats fifteen to twenty-four," the intercom echoed throughout the airport._

_"That's me."_

_I nodded. She kissed my cheek._

_"See you around, baby," I tried to wrap my mouth around the awkward English words._

_"Your English is horrible," she giggled._

_"I hate to tell you, but your Japanese accent sucks too."_

_She gave me one last smirk and hug then turned to walk back to the threshold over to America. Before she got to the gate she cocked her head back towards me._

_"Try to get with that girl again so you stop moping like a sad puppy." She gave one last wave and disappeared through the gate._

I tried picking up the phone at least five times a day to call her. As soon as I dialed the first few numbers, I hung up immediately. Guilt flooded me when I pictured Aoi's broken eyes. How could I expect her to still love me when I tried so easily to replace her?

Two long months went by. Graduation was only in a few weeks and I didn't give a fuck.

Maybe she's happier without me.  
_She probably already got over me._

I sighed and gave up trying to call her.

My letter of acceptance came in and my mom wanted to celebrate. I smacked on a fake smile and tried so hard to be excited.

Sorry Embry, but you can't bring Aoi back to me.

* * *

It's been two months and finally my letter came in. I have to admit, the letterhead did look fancy. Of course, it should have seeing as how they were an art school. This was the first college application that I felt nervous about. They accepted based on skill and creativity and I had no experience on drawing except my obsession with Chie.

I slid my finger along the envelope's seal. I delicately tugged the paper free from it's shell.

I couldn't help but smile.

"We're sending this letter to congratulate you on your acceptance to Embry's Academy of the Arts".

* * *

I couldn't keep from staring at my senior picture in it's frame on the desk. I looked so damn happy in it.

_Of course I do, I had Aoi then._

I cursed once more. Two months later and I'm still thinking about her constantly. Each time I was reminded the pain in my chest grew. It was my fault. All of it was my fault.

I sighed and tore my eyes away from it. Fuck the world.

A tiny knock came from my door. My ears perked and I immediately wondered if Mom had a package coming of some sorts.

I peered through the peephole and my heart sunk. She was there. She looked way too damn good to be broken after our breakup.

"Chie?" I heard her tiny voice slide through the door. I took a deep breathe, ready to apologize for all the pain I caused her. I opened the door and she held a piece of paper in between her hands.

I recognized the letter head.

I'm not going to get all mushy here, but I did tear up. She grabbed my hand and pressed her lips against mine. In the hallway. For EVERYONE to see. I gave no defiance. The entire thing felt so fucking right.

I felt her tongue meet mine as I rested my hand onto the side of her chin. She entered my house, not even for a second parting her lips from mine. I led her to my room. Right now we weren't secret lovers. No, right now we were full blown lovers who were made for each other.

I slid her shirt over her head and kissed her milky skin everywhere I possibly could.

She pulled my head up and kissed my lips once more.

"I love you so much and I'm so sorry," she whispered. Her hot breath against my mouth sent and entire force of chills down my spine.

"I'm sorry too. Now shush."

With that, I layed her down onto my bed. I completely lost any sense of my brain. My heart was officially in the driver's seat when I started kissing the base of her neck. Then only logic I wanted to hear was that she was so fucking amazing.

That night was the start of my new life with my girlfriend. As it came to its conclusion, it was apparent when I stared into her eyes that we would never leave this spot.

No matter where we went or how our environment decided to take us, we'd always stay in this spot, holding one another and letting our body heat collide.  
.......END CH7

Sorry for the choppy-ness. I hope it didn't get too confusing.

Well, I know that this is a work of fanfiction but I wanted to include a bonus chapter for all the fans who stuck with me. It involves Rei and Dray so if you're not into the whole yaoi thing then just skip over it. It's not critical to the storyline anyway, I just think side characters need developed too.

WARNING: AHEAD CONTAINS SOME YAOI! Kthx

...............................

BONUS MINI CHAPTER:

It was the first time Rei stepped into my house. I tried so hard to hide my blush each time he smiled at me, but I couldn't help but feel such adoration towards him. He was such a strong pillar of strength, not even worrying at all about what people thought of him. He was someone I admired way too much. He was in my house. We were alone.

I made sure my parents were going to be gone this evening. Why would I bother? Part of me still tried to be stubborn and say I wasn't gay. Sure I was attracted to Rei, but who isn't? He's a uniquely gorgeous guy that had eyes that continuously sparkled with mischief. He made my heart jump with those curiously attentive eyes.

"Wow. Cool. You have a pool," he commented in awe. "It's so damn huge." His back faced me as he peered out my sliding screen doors. My eyes focused in on his uh... lower backside... and I had a really difficult time tearing my sight away from it.

Until he started taking his shirt off.

It wasn't subtle or discrete at all. Right in my living room he gripped the bottom of his shirt and smoothly lifted it over his head. I literally gulped as if I was in a cartoon. The muscles on his back flexed when he allowed the shirt to drop on the ground. He had a tattoo on his back of black wings that covered his shoulder blades. He was a dark angel, so it fit him oh so perfectly.

He turned at me with a smirk.

"Wanna go for a swim?"

I didn't even answer. I was speechless.

He walked over to me with that cocky grin on his face.

"Dray." He spoke so softly. He was really close to me by now. I reluctantly looked up at him and locked eyes.

I felt his fingers trail along my waist line. My hair stood on end.

To my inner disappointment, he merely grabbed the bottom of my shirt and attempted to slide it over my head.

I complied and went with the flow way too easily.

His fingers trailed my chest. I could tell he really wanted me, it wasn't just to be a tease. Reluctantly I focused in on his lips and I admitted to myself that I wanted him too.

He grabbed the base of my chin and drew my face closer to his. I didn't provide any defiance, and I actually rested my fingers on the edge of his pants. I felt his hot breath against mine. Mint. The bastard actually prepared for this.

I closed my eyes as his lips got closer to mine and I hit total ecstacy when our lips met. His were so soft and it felt so right. I allowed my chest to brush against his. I used my hand to push his head harder, making our kiss a lot more intense.

He broke it and had an eyebrow raised.

"Damn. I just wanted to swim."

My face was flushed with desire.

"Fuck you." I pulled him against me.

His eyes were wide, probably at both my actions and my words.

It was the first time I've ever said "fuck", and I really didn't think it was my last.

-------BONUS MINI-CHAPTER. END.

Trust me, if you guys don't like it then that'll be the last. If you want me to continue putting bonus chapters involving Rei / Dray then let me know and I'll include them. If not then well, it was fun writing it.

Please leave some comments letting me know what you thought about this entire chapter. I think this story is drawing on it's end. So please please please comment me and give me some tips. Thanks all and see you next time!

-Lillium


	9. Endings Are Forever

Helllooo again! We're finally on the epilogue of Breathless, after quite a few months later (mostly because of my horrid update schedule). I want to say thank you all for following the project thus far! I hope the epilogue doesn't disappoint. (I told a friend of mine who reads my fic that I'd make it really good, so I'm going to take my time in writing this just so that it is.) Also, I am going to start a new project, and it was a really close tie between a Yamato x Kouya fic or another Chie x Aoi, but I decided since no one would really read a Yamato x Kouya fic because all those Loveless fans usually are into the yaoi part (which is waaay too bad because the yuri pairing in that anime is in my opinion one of the best, if not THE best). Who knows, I may start a Yamato x Kouya project in the future when I get enough readers that will just follow my writing. Anyway, so I've already came up with the concept of the story and the title for the next project (called "Flinch") and it will be another Chie x Aoi, and I'm hoping to resurrect my own created characters (Dray / Rei). I also plan to include another couple in the fic that I didn't include in this one. Let's just say that this is a really popular couple and rhymes with Bizznat. So if you'd like to continue reading my work, please add me to your author's watch because right after I write this chapter I am going to start working on the new project.

Anyway, onto the final chapter / epilogue of Breathless!

* * *

Epilogue- Endings are Forever

"Chie, I'm going to trip!" Her hands covered my eyes and I had no clue where the crap she was taking me.

"Oh just trust me, I won't let you bruise that pretty bum of yours," I could hear the smirk in her voice and I tried to step on her toe for punishment.

It was two week after graduation when we started planning college together. My parents were, of course, incredibly upset when they found out I was going to an art school instead of a Med school. My father made continuous comments on how I was supposed to be the success of the family, but then when Rei got accepted into an overseas program for the study of Radiology, my parents really took the focus off of me and diverted all their attention on him. Trust me, my mouth was hanging open just as wide as my parents' when he whipped out the acceptance letter. Apparently, he scored a perfect 1600 on a foreign SAT test that had registered for to get into the program. I guess that's how he got them to overlook his poor attendance and grades, unless he wrote the most amazing application in the world.

It was nice that the pressure was finally on him, because after that even my dad was all right with me going to an art school. I showed my dad some of my best work (even included one of Chie) and he studied them carefully then gave me a pat on the back.

"Each Senou has unspeakable talent, and yours is a great flavor for this family," he said. I almost teared up because it was pretty much his way of saying "You're doing well and I'm very proud of you."

Mom is even trying to treat Chie as if she were my boyfriend instead of a dirty little secret. A few days before graduation she came into my room with my new after grad dress and a sad look on her face.

"I can't believe you're going away," I could see the tears form in the corner of her eyes.

I gave her a reassuring hug.

"I'll be fine Mom." She sighed and I felt a tear rub against my cheek.

"I know you will. I know you and Chie will take care of one another."

I was happy that she finally accepted the fact that I loved Chie, and I'm glad that she wasn't alienating me because of it. That's when I knew I was really blessed with my family.

Life was... Amazing.

"CHIE!" I tripped over her foot and almost took a dive to the pavement. Luckily she tightened her grip on me and prevented me from falling.

"See? Told you I wouldn't let you fall," she chuckled. Suddenly, we stopped and I felt her breath against my ear. "Now time for your surprise. You ready?"

"Yes, now let me see!" I groaned. She removed her hands. I peered up at an adorable two bedroom house. I was lost for words.

Chie took my hand and slid a cool piece of metal into my palm. I glanced down to see a perfect golden key.

She wrapped her hands around mine and smiled ever so gently.

"Will you move in with me, hotness?" I knew she was trying to tease me but at that moment all I focused in was us. Our future together.

"How on Earth..."

"I sold your nudes on Ebay to get first month's rent," she winked at me. "What do you say?"

I play punched her in the arm.

"Of course I'll move in with you. Dork." She pulled my face into a kiss, and I allowed my body to move tightly against hers.

"So... Any furniture yet?" I whispered against her lips.

"Mmm... Sadly, no."

"Is there a kitchen?"

"Yes?" Her voice was filled with curiosity.

"Is there a counter?" She raised her eyebrow at me and unlocked the door.

"Let's find out."

* * *

There were two things that I knew about the area that the Academy was at. One, Aoi was actually going to come along with me. I was ecstatic. Two, the area was expensive as fuck. Not so pleased about that. I knew Mom planned to give me a little money to get started, but I also knew that it wouldn't last worth shit, so I had to get a job. Fast.

Right before graduation I took trips to go job hunting for when I moved there. To put it lightly, the selection isn't that great. I started narrowing down to the basic retail jobs and I have to admit, it got me a little depressed.

I was about to give up on hope and just grab the local grocery store's offer, when I stumbled upon Subliminal Advertisement Agency. The name itself made me incredibly curious, so I went inside just to see what it was all about. I saw chaos, mayhem, and half nude women. No, I'm not really kidding about the latter.

Amidst the phones buzzing and a chatter of employees, the offices were plastered with photos of advertisements that more or less had nude women advertising the product. Least to say I was... strangely fascinated.

"Can I help you, cutie?" A woman with dirty blond hair leaned against the front desk with her arms folded, staring at me. She wore a professional suit with a skirt on that defined her legs quite well. Her voice was drowned in a Kyoto accent.

"Uh... I'm wondering about a job, really. Is there a manager I could talk to?" A smile crept to the corner of her lips.

"Are you looking to become a model?"

Blush crept down my neck as I took another glance at the "advertisements" around me.

"Erm.. No. I'm a photographer," I tried to speak with as much confidence as I could, but I didn't really have a damn clue why I was in there, so I mostly played along. She frowned a little.

"That's too bad, you'd make a great stud." She winked at me. I gritted my teeth because I knew Aoi would be laughing so damn hard if she heard this conversation.

"Can I talk to a manager?" I wanted to try to get at least an application from this whole embarrassing experience.

"Of course." It's funny, because I'm pretty sure her eyes were laughing at me like she was in on an inside joke. She stood up straight then took a very dramatic, professional business woman bow.

"I'm Fujino Shizuru, owner and manager of this business," she stuck out her hand to me. "Pleased to meet you," she formed the words in smooth and perfect English. I'm sure my face was so red that it looked like I was suffering from a serious sunburn, because my face felt like it was on fire.

She covered her mouth and chuckled in the polite Japanese girl way.

"Photographer hm? Let's see what we can work out."

That was the day that I was hired onto a part of the best business in the world. SAA paid very well to all it's workers, and apparently was extremely successful in all parts of the world. Thanks to that company, I was able to go down for a weekend or two and get paid at the shoot. I knew that I could actually get my own little apartment or rent a small house. I was so excited that I actually spread all my plans out for my mom to critique.

She listened intently, then sighed.

"Am I going to do something wrong?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No. It's just, you're actually going to college. You're leaving the nest." I saw a small tear come from the corner of her eye.

"It's all right, I'll still visit you whenever I get the chance."

She shook her head.

"No, no, It's not that. That just means that since you're becoming an adult that makes me REALLY old. That's the depressing part." I rolled my eyes. I knew she was going to miss me.

"No really, hun, I'm excited that you and Aoi are going to be able to do this journey together. It's so exciting."

"Yeah... I'm pretty excited too."

"You should be! And I want you to know that I'm expecting grand kids from at least one of you. Hell, between the two of you I should get double so there isn't any excuses," she said very casually.

I just about died.

"Mom..."

"What? I don't give a damn if biology is against it, I want a baby grand kid to coddle."

Sometimes it's really hard to have the coolest Mom in the entire world. Sometimes, but not really. That entire conversation got me thinking though.

I think I would love to have a life with Aoi. In fact, I know I would. She would make such a great Mom, and I'd love to have my kids with her. I wanted to get our life going together as well, not just my own.

So I rented the house. I gave the landlord first month's rent and the deposit all in cash the day I found the place. I knew Aoi would love it because the place was pretty gorgeous. With this new job, I could help support us so we can get the ball rolling. I definitely knew when I slid her the key into her hand that our life was now just beginning.

We managed to snag a few blankets and pillows and decided to spend the night at our new home.

She shivered against me, so I held her tighter. It was understandable that she was cold, because we were a little... undressed for the weather.

I kissed the top of her head.

"I love you."

She smiled and complied by tilting her head back so that I could meet her lips with mine.

"I love you too."

It was entirely surreal that my life has lead me this far. Freshman year I was the loner kid who always kept to herself, and this gorgeous girl waltzed into my life and completely rattled it up. Hell, I loved every second of it.

I still kept that original photo of Aoi at the creek. I still look at it and remember that day. I remember the uncertainty of her feelings towards me, and I remember the guilt I had for wanting her so badly.

Now it all seems like it's been wrapped up with such a neat bow.

I pulled her tighter against me, allowing our body heat to conjoin. I felt her slow, soft breath against my upper chest and I knew she was asleep. I looked down at her and glanced around the house.

It was the end of the first chapter of our saga. It was the end of the trips to the creek. However, I learned throughout the years in photography, that moments really do last forever.

Our ending would last forever, because our ending is really only the beginning of the greater picture.

"I love you..." I whispered softly. I didn't want to wake her.

She murmured a little but stayed asleep. I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes.

Right then.. I felt utterly complete. My entire being revolved around her and with each second of her presence she literally left me...

Breathless.  


* * *

END

* * *

Phew. Everyone give some claps because this is my first ever finished fic. I always start the project but never finish it EXCEPT NOW! I hope it wasn't TOO corny towards the end there. I really wanted to leave it on a sweet note, and so I thought that Chie's point of view would be fantastic to end with.

And yeah yeah if you guys recall in the beginning of this fic I said that I wouldn't put Shizuru or Natsuki in this fic cus I wanted it all Chie x Aoi, but I couldn't help myself towards the end there. She just fit the part so well that I ran with it!

Anyway, I tried not to make it as rushed as last chapter, and I tried to fill in the holes (Except I did leave Dray / Rei out) on some of the issues that would have arrived.

Thank you to all the fans who have stayed with me from the beginning to the very end (or that have jumped in the middle and are still hanging on) I hope you all enjoyed the story, and add me to your author watch because I do have another project on the horizon! (I actually have the first rough draft of the chapter written up, just have to type and revise and post). It's going to be so sad when I put in the description "COMPLETE W/ EPILOGUE"!

Once again, thanks and don't forget to give me a last review!

Lillium


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